The Boy I Met Online

Kabanata 29

Sa mga nababasa kong kuwento at napapanood kong movies, ganitong-ganito din ang eksenang kinakaharap ng bidang babae - kaharap ang magulang ng taong mahal niya habang tinititigan siya na parang inaalam ang sukdulan ng kanyang pagkatao. Hindi ba talaga niya ako gusto para sa anak niya? Susuhulan din ba niya ako tulad ng mga napapanood ko? O pipiliting layuan ang anak niya? What should I do then? Should I go? Run? Never show myself anymore? I can't...if that's the matter I can't. Hindi ko kayang layuan ang lalakeng mahal ko.

"Ms. Gilberts right?" pagputol nito sa katahimikan. I nodded looking straight at him.

"Iha I don't want to scare you but I'll get to the point. My son loves you. I can see it through his eyes. I know I shouldn't be saying this because I haven't been a good father to my children but I care for them. Gusto kong makabawi kay Drake John kahit papaano-"

"And by saying "makabawi", are you saying you'll be taking him with you in Australia?" hindi ko maiwasang bigyan siya ng matalim na tingin. So yun talaga ang plano niya? Papakiusapan niya akong bitawan ang anak niya para sumama ito papuntang Australia?

"It's not just my decision. Alam kong gusto niya rin but there is something holding him back."

"And I am the one holding him back" I stated and he nodded.

"Alam kong importante ka sa anak ko, that's why he's choosing to stay but kilala ko ang anak kong 'yun, gustuhin man niya, he's choosing you over her dreams."

Yun ba ang dahilan kaya hindi siya makasagot kanina? Because he wants to go? Kaya ba hindi niya kayang umalis dahil sa akin? But what am I going to do? Am I willing to let him go? To chase his dreams? Am I willing to take the risk? Kaya ba namin ang long distance relationship? Are we gonna last long?

Fear.

Natatakot ako.

"Now It's on you iha. Nasayo nalang ang magiging sagot ng anak ko. Ayokong masayang ang future niya. He could still shine, gaya ng pinapangarap niya. He's still my son and all I want is the best for him and I am hoping you can help me with this one." Tila napipi ako at naestatwa. Gustong-gusto ko siyang tulungang kumbinsihin si Prince but I don't know if I can convince myself. Can I handle the pain of letting him go? Away from me? Can I afford losing him? I know how important is this to him but he is important to me too. Can I do it? Iniisip ko pa lang nasasaktan na ako, parang hindi ko kaya.

"I know this will hurt for both of you but if you truly love each other, distance doesn't count. Pag-isipan mo ng mabuti. I am not forcing you to convince him but I am encouraging you to do so. I like you for my son, iha so don't think of this as my way of pushing you away from each other. I just want my son to discover things he hasn't yet discovered. I wanted him to pursue his dreams and I know you do too. Please iha. Do it for my son. Do this for Drake John."

"Kailan po ba ang alis niyo?"

"Two weeks from now. Doon din gaganapin ang operation ni Victoria. We finally found the perfect heart donor."

"P-pag-iisipan ko po" I finally said and he nodded.

Ngayon naisip kong mas mabuti na yung susuhulan niya ako, yung pipiliting ilayo ako sa anak niya because atleast by that I have a reason to let him go, to let him leave. Ngayon ako ang magdedesisyon, desisyong ayokong gawin kailanman.

Alam kong hindi tamang pangunahan ko siya sa magiging desisyon niya but what if his dad's right? Na ang tanging pumipigil lang sa kanya ay ako? What if he's been waiting for this to happen? What if he badly want to chase after her dreams but couldn't because of me?

I need to think. I need to think in order for me to come up with a good decision, but before that I need to talk to him.

~~~