The Boy I Met Online

Kabanata 31

Past

Drake POV

"Ash please wake up" humahagulgol na wika ko sa magandang babaeng ngayon ay maputlang-maputla habang nakahiga sa isang puting kama sa loob ng puting kuwarto. She always looks like an angel; so beautiful and peaceful. The only difference now is she's lifeless...dead.

"Please..for me..wake up please" lagi kong naririnig kay daddy noon na hindi dapat ipinapakita ang kahinaan ng isang lalake sa ibang tao dahil puwede nilang gamitin yun laban sayo. He always teach me how to be strong, to fight, and never show any weakness. But I don't care anymore. I don't care anymore about what people might say. Ang tanging naiisip ko lang ngayon ay ang babaeng walang buhay na nasa harapan ko. I can feel the presence of her family and mine in the room. My mom trying to comfort me which seems impossible for my broken heart, her mom sobbing hard with her father at her side, and my dad remaining serious as always.

I never imagined this scenario: watching the girl I love lying on the bed lifeless. I remember how I always whisper in her ears how I wanted her to be my wife, how I wanted to marry her. I am only seven and she's six when we met at the park. I can still remember how her yellow dress suits her as well as her long wavy brown hair which  carelessly blown by the wind. We grew up together, trapped in our own world. She loves to paint and I am her greatest fan. I always attend to her exhibits and every contest she joins in. I support her as much as she supports me. She cares for me and I treasure her.

Naaalala ko pa kung paano niya ako pasayahin when I am down. She's always there to cheer me up. She never fails to put a smile on my face in every situation. She's smart, humble, carefree, and generous. She's the perfect girl for me until everything came tumbling down.

It was a hot Sunday afternoon while we're leaving for school. Pinuntahan niya ako sa bahay tulad ng lagi niyang ginagawa. Lagi ko siyang pinagsasabihang ako ang dapat sumusundo sa kanya dahil ako ang lalake pero sa tuwing ginagawa ko yun ay laging nauuwi sa pagtatalo. Dati hatid-sundo ako ni daddy pero nung nakilala ko siya at nalaman kong gusto niyang naglalakad lang sa school, pinilit ko si daddy na tigilan na ang paghahatid-sundo sa akin. She's a stubborn girl but I loved it. Gustong-gusto kong iniinis siya because I always admire her smart words.

Ayaw niyang lumiliban sa school, she hated it. She's the most diligent student na nakilala ko but today, she invited me to skip school. At first I declined but when I saw the sadness in her eyes, I quickly agreed. She loves the sea and sunset so I brought her to the beach. She always have her painting materials in her backpack kaya pinanood ko siya habang ipinipinta nito ang view sa harap namin.

We ate the food we bought on our way here and I invited her to swim. Yes I invited her to swim, promising her that I would never let her drown. Mahabang pilitan ang nangyari until she finally accepted my offer. Yes she accepted my offer even if she don't know how to swim. She trusted me with her life and I betrayed her.

I was too caught by the moment that I didn't notice that she's missing. Nagbasaan kami nung una, I taught her how to swim kahit takot na takot siya. Dinala ko siya sa malalim without letting go of her at umahon na rin pagkatapos ng ilang oras. I left her to grab us towels but when I returned, she's gone. Hinanap ko siya, sigaw ako ng  sigaw but nothing. Ashley is nowhere to be found.

Fear conquered my system when the sun started to set and I haven't found her yet. I dialled our home number informing them about our current location and situation.

I feel so helpless and restless when my family as well as hers came with some rescuers. Hours were spent searching for Ashley but everything seemed so useless because she's still missing. When hope had started to drain from us, a lifeless Ashley were laid before us. Pakiramdam ko ay ninakawan ako ng hangin sa nakita ko. Nagmistula akong sementong hindi makagalaw sa kinatatayuan kahit naririnig ko na ang hysterical na paghagulgol ng mama ni Ashley.

Para akong papel na nakalutang sa hangin, hindi alam kung paano makakababa sa lupa at hanggang kailan dadalhin ng marahas na hangin habang isinusugod si Ashley sa hospital. I prayed that may this only be a nightmare, na magigising akong ngiti ni  Ashley ang sasalubong sa akin but reality settled in when the doctor emerged from the emergency room informing us that Ashley, the girl whom I imagined to spend my whole life with, is dead.

Hindi ko alam saang anggulo ako titingin. Kung sa pagkawala ng babaeng mahal ko o sa mga pangarap kong nasira kasama siya. I am alive but I am dead inside, she took the life out of me.

Alam kong kasalanan ko lahat, I should've been more responsible. Base sa obserbasyon, Ashley died because of drowning. Ang hula ng lahat ay baka bumalik ito sa tubig at napunta sa malalim na bahagi na naging sanhi ng pagkalunod nito. Hindi man sabihin sa akin ng mga magulang niya, alam kong ako din ang sinisisi nila. They always trust me when it comes to their daughter but I failed them. Ako ang dahilan kaya nalunod ang anak nila, kaya wala na ang babaeng mahal ko.

Days after her funeral, wala na kaming naging balita sa mga magulang ni Ashley. Nalaman na lamang naming lumipad daw ang mga ito sa U.S. Those were also my worst days. Panay away si daddy at mommy. Napapadalas ang pag-uwi ni daddy ng lasing samantalang si mommy naman ay laging inaatake ng matinding selos. Laging ganun ang set-up namin for months until they filed for a divorce. I was greatly affected especially King. Napabayaan ko na ang aking pag-aaral, minsan ay umuuwing madaling araw na. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi na ako umuuwi sa isang tahanan kundi sa isang bahay na lamang. Mom busied herself with work, leaving me with King to take care of. Hindi ko naman tinuring pabigat ang kapatid ko, in fact we became closer dahil madalas ang isa't-isa ang nagiging karamay namin.

Years went by with me, King and our mom. I and King excelled in our studies. Unti-unti nanaming nabubuo ang mga sarili namin. Late na nalaman ni mama na buntis siya. We were all delighted nang malamang babae ang ipinagbubuntis nito! We are going to have a baby sister!

Naging normal ang takbo ng buhay namin. Masaya kami kahit wala si dad. Naisip kong hindi namin siya kailangan, hindi na ngayong marunong na kaming tumayo sa sarili naming mga paa. It was in Victoria's fifth birthday when he suddenly appeared outside our house. Mula doon, napapadalas na ang pagdalaw-dalaw nito. He spoiled Victoria with toys, candies, and even dresses  dahilan para maging malapit sa kanya si Victoria. Wala na rin kaming nagawa nang biglang ilipad niya ito sa Australia. We wanted to file a complaint but we know it's impossible especially that the man who kidnapped my sister happened to be my dad.

Kaming tatlo na lamang ang natira sa bahay. Hindi na namin nakakasama si Victoria. Naging malungkutin si mommy na nakaapekto sa kalusugan nito. Kinailangan naming kumuha ng nutritionist para lang maisaayos ang pagkain niya. Pili lang kung umuwi sina dad kasama si Victoria tulad na lamang ng long holidays kaya halos hindi nanamin nakikita ang kapatid ko.

Akala ko hanggang dun nalang ang mangyayari but I was wrong. It wasn't enough for my father, he wanted to file for custody. Hindi namin alam kung anong ipinaglalaban niya ngayon para kunin ang kapatid ko. He never cared for us after their divorce. Kinalimutan niya kami ni King na para bang mga palaboy na tutang walang silbi. Noong birthday ko hiniling kong pumunta siya dahil nami-miss ko na siya. Dad and I were close when I was a kid. Napakarami niyang itinuro sa akin. Ika nga ng iba, I am his total duplicate. Nagmana ako sa kanya, mula itsura hanggang sa kanyang personalidad. I expected him to show up even during King's birthdays but he never did, hanggang sa nasanay na lamang kaming wala siya,na wala kaming ama.

Marami siyang naging pagkukulang sa amin pero kahit kailan hindi ko siya sinumbatan. They taught me to respect elders especially my parents so hindi ko kayang isumbat sa kanya ang mga kamalian niya. But seeing him now, so desperate to win the custody of Victoria, hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip. Why does he care so suddenly? Oo ama parin namin siya pero kinalimutan na namin yun, nakalimutan na namin kung paano magkaroon ng isang ama.