Moonlit Futures

Lexi POV

Taking in a few deep breaths I observed Chris sitting in the chair. Neck slightly bared, messy hair and wrinkled clothes. Looking him over I began to feel my wolf relaxing slightly and using that I began to force myself to relax. After a few minutes I felt more in control and looked up at his face.

"How's the nose?" Hearing his snort I relaxed back a bit into my pillows.

"Hurt like a son of a bitch the first day. You caught me off guard." He said with a laugh. Seeing his smirk I smiled slightly at him.

"Rachel said it would probably be a good idea to talk to you. Mate bond or something being able to help me out." Seeing him deflate  a little I took some pity and began to move on with my explanation. "I think it maybe time to stop being afraid of you and for us to hopefully get past everything." Shrugging slightly I looked down and moved my legs to sit criss cross under the fleece blanket. Grabbing it I brought it up to my shoulders and my nose. Inhaling the familiar scent of my room I smiled slightly before braving to look back up at Chris. Seeing him just staring at me I could feel myself getting wary.

"What?" I shot out.

"You just surprise me." He said with a small shrug and leaned back more into the chair. Squinting my eyes at him I watched him for a minute before huffing out and flopping back onto my pillows. 

"You are a world class jerk. Grade A, capital J, Jerk! I offer you the olive branch you've been looking for, don't think I didn't notice you sniffing around here and my room and all you say it "you just surprise me?" Of course I surprise you Christopher. You don't know me. You pushed me away. No cares for the girl who loved you and your family like my own, the one who got turned into the thing she hated the most, and was tortured yet again. No care for your mate. Instead you push me away like it was my fault. I had my own guilt and my own pain. Instead of us helping each other through it you sent me away because you couldn't deal with it. You got angry and threatened me. You made me deal with my own fucked up shit from that night and yours too! You put all that guilt on me! Then you come back after years and demand to see me and have me back, all because you were sorry! How pitiful." I spat out at him. Hearing a ripping sound I looked at my hands where claws were coming out and ripping my blanket. Scowling down at the tie dye print, I heard a soft growl from the corner of the room. Throwing Chris a withering look, I watched as his face blurred and the tears started to come. Turning my face away I brought the ripped blanket up to my face as I felt the tears continue to come. I missed the sound of footsteps until I felt the bed dip and me being dragged into Chris's lap. Holding me as I struggled and started to hyperventilate, I eventually felt my wolf calm down and I could breath normally. Leaning into his chest, I struggled to wrap my blanket around me until Chris moved it out from under me and wrapped me in a burrito. Holding me close, I  felt his heartbeat and the steady rhythm of his chest for a while. Drifting into sleep I was startled out of my haze by his deep voice.

"I looked for you. After it happened. I looked for you but you just vanished. For weeks I didn't eat, hardly slept. After the third week the challenges started to come. People said I was unfit. Chasing away my mate and then letting myself wither away because of it. I met them all head on and wished for death. It almost happened too. Carl, the big guy with thinning hair was going to rip my throat out until I snapped out of it. I don't know what happened but it was almost like I knew you would need me and that I was going to find you again. The day I found you again I was furious. Mad at you because you wouldn't see me, mad at Xavier because he didn't tell me, mad at myself for not searching his property or visiting sooner and mad because for all that time you were within a few hours from me. The day Xavier finally told me that you were taken, he took his sweet time about thinking he could find you by himself my whole world stopped. When I found you again I wanted to rip everyone in that village limb from limb but I knew you wouldn't want that so I planned to get you out and kill Greg. I needed you safe, even if you never forgave me for being a grade A, capital J, jerk." Nuzzling my hair I could feel my wolf stirring at his words, warily she longed for him. Letting her take over for a minute I nuzzled his neck softly before reigning her in. Sitting there I heard footsteps advance towards the door making me tense up and a growl sounded through my lips. Feeling Chris rubbing circles on my back and upper arms had my growls turning softer and eventually I just sat rigid in his arms until the footsteps walked away. Nuzzling his neck again I let out a sigh.

"I hate this." I whispered to him. Feeling him rub my back I gulped before going on. "I hate feeling scared, distrusting wolves because of what they might do to me, knowing that beyond my doors are people who stood by and let Greg hurt me." Feeling him tense up I looked up at him slightly before taping his nose. "I could smell them. You can't hide them from me forever but I appreciate the attempt. I just hate feeling like I'm not in control of myself. I feel erratic because I'm scared and everyone is walking on egg shells with me. You are obviously here instead of taking care of your pack which is going to cause issues and this entire thing just makes me sick."

"Is that why you agreed to the medicine?"

"I wanted a get well quick but I know that isn't the best option. I do need for people to not be worried about me and for that I think the medicine will help. I can't have supervision constantly but I also can't afford to hurt someone. Medicine seemed the best route at the time. Rachel says with that we can try some exposure therapy to decrease my reactions to the things that set me off like the unknown footsteps and stuff. It will take a couple of days before the medicine starts to kick in and I can be normal-ish." I told him with a shrug. Feeling him leaning back I jerked up until I realized he was laying me on my side. Feeling him twist to put me on the inside and him near the door, I breathed out the breath I'd been holding. 

"Go to sleep Lexi. I'll watch over you. I won't let anything hurt you." He told me rubbing my back gently. Letting that motion lull me into the haze I went into a fit full sleep.