Ch. 23 - The Day After

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^Song of the chapter^

Deja's POV

~~~
(Next Day)

Today is not going to be a great day. I never like waking up, but today I absolutely dread it. I usually have a certain attitude after I wake up. Usually, I'm sarcastic and annoyed. Today, I feel nothing.

Honestly, I feel dead inside.

The thing is, David didn't even rape me. He was close, but he didn't. The things that he actually did have left me in a mess. Just imagine if he didn't stop.

Even though what he did to me was terrible, I don't want to get him in trouble. It's highly unlikely that I will get back together with him, but I still have feelings for him. I don't hate him, I just have resentment towards him.

I walk out of my room like a dead zombie. That's one thing that hasn't changed. I do my daily hygiene, put on my clothes and walk downstairs. I want to be left alone, but I forget that I have a mom to bother me at the worst times.

"Good morning, Deja."

"Good morning, mom," I say, completely monotone.

"Why the sad face, Deja?"

"I'm just tired, I'm really tired."

"I'm guessing you were on that phone all night."

I don't even bother to answer. She always blames everything on anything. I just need to get on the bus and away from here.

~~~

I plop myself and my things next to Tiara in the seat. If there's anyone who will distract me from everything, it's her.

"Why do you look like you just ran over a person and their dog and the guilt is starting to set in?" She asks.

"No reason."

"C'mon, Deja. You know I don't like to see you depressed."

"Nobody cares about me or how I feel. All they care about is how many times I've been on my phone."

"Your mom is not a nobody. Your mom is your mom, and she cares about you. Whatever is going on between you and her need to stop."

"Stop, Tiara. My mom isn't the reason for my mood."

"Then spit it out already. I'm 17 so you know I have a short attention span."

"David and I broke up," I say without looking up from my thighs.

"I was already attaching his last name on yours."

I look up from my thighs briefly to blankly stare at Tiara. She mouths a sorry.

"Why? You seemed to really like him."

I try to think about what I will say to Tiara. I've lied to Tiara many times. I've lied to everyone, but I've never hidden something as big as this situation I've been unfortunate enough to get into.

"I don't know, I just decided to break up with him."

"You did not break up with him on peaceful terms if your eyes are puffy like that," she says, poking them.

"It was a peaceful breakup. I still like him, but I feel like things are just weird right now. Maybe it's something that time can fix," I half-lie.

Part of me hopes to just get rid of this bad memory. Maybe I can convince myself that it was just a bad dream. The other part of me is having a #DavidJamesIsOverParty and doesn't plan to stop celebrating anytime soon.

While my two parts are having a tug-a-war game, there's just me. I don't know what to do. I know it sounds bad. What am I doing thinking about giving my almost rapist another chance?

To be honest, I don't really know.

I see the school entrance from my window. Finally, an end to Tiara jabbering me about not being in a relationship with David anymore.

I get off the bus in front of Tiara. Just when we're about to part ways, she calls my name, wanting me to turn back around. Once I turn around, I see a Tiara with an anguish-filled face.

"Tiara, what's wrong?" I ask.

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Well, I-"

Suddenly, I feel a hand tap my shoulder. I swear to God if David won't leave me alone.

"What do you want? Cameron?"

"Jeez, who pissed in your cereal?"

I immediately hug him. I don't know why I felt the need to. I guess he just brings back a sense of normalcy.

"Deja, I was gone for two days, not two weeks."

I let go of him. "Sorry."

I hear a throat clearing from my left. I realize that it was Tiara. I completely forgot she was standing there.

"Deja, I was saying something," she says, irritation profound in her voice.

"Deja, we're going to be late. We have to go," Cameron says, irritation present in his voice too.

"Tiara, tell me about it later. You heard him, we're going to be late."

I walk away with Cameron and disappear into the hallways. I already know that Tiara is pissed at me, but I have bigger fish to fry.

"Why'd you come off as confrontational outside?" Cameron asks me.

"I'm not a morning person at all. It's just not a bright idea to surprise me in the morning because I will probably pop off on you."

"Oh, I see," he says, smiling a little. "I thought it was because of the video."

"What video?"

"You know that dejajexposed Snapchat account that posted what you went through with Cynthia?"

"Yeah. Did they post a new video?"

"Yeah, they did. They posted it around 12 in the morning. Then it was 2 am when it started popping up on everyone's stories."

"Oh my God. What video is it this time?"

"It's the video of the one fight that I had with that Connor kid. It just showed you standing there, looking at all of it."

"Really?" I ask.

Suddenly, I feel someone walk behind me, then beside me. I turn and see that it's David.

"David, what are you doing? Why are you standing next to me?"

"I'm walking to class, Deja. When did that ever become illegal?"

"Ever since you know when," I say, miserably failing at controlling my level of anger.

"Trouble in paradise?" Cameron casually asks.

"Cameron, stay out of this. This is a thing between Deja and me," David says, matching the same level of anger that I have.

"Was a thing, David."

"Did I miss something these last two days?" Cameron says, obviously confused.

Yes, Cameron. You missed a lot in these last two days.

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I hate high school, just wanted to throw that out there. But, I would like to say thank you for the 5k reads. This book is growing way faster than I thought it would, but I'm not complaining.

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