"Why Do You Love Me?" [John Laurens x Reader]{Book One}[COMPLETED]

Chapter 40

~WARNING!!! YOU MIGHT GET TRIGGERED!! I'M VERY SORRY IF YOU DO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THIS CHAPTER~

-[Y/N] Pov-
I light the candle in front of the mirror and look at myself. Who am I to think that someone like John would ever love me? No one would ever love me. No one will ever love a slut like me.

I look at myself I the mirror then at the scissors. I shouldn't do this, but I have no choice. Everyone will be happier without me, right? It'll be less noticeable on my thighs.

I pull up the dress and pull apart the scissors. I put the sharper part to my skin.

Alex won't have to put up with his idiot sister. Cut.

John won't have this slut chasing after him. Cut.

Lafayette won't have to worry about me. Cut.

Hercules won't have to be a father figure to someone who has so many problems. Cut.

Eliza won't have me leeching off her and her new family. Cut.

Angelica and Peggy won't have me bothering them with letters of me complaining. Cut.

And General Washington will never have to see me again. Cut.

I realize what I'm doing and pause. How can I do this? I look frantically in all the drawers and find bandages. I grab them I quickly wrap them around the leg. I can feel the blood gushing out of my leg.

I start crying more, I can't believe that I did that. Pull my nightgown down and get back in my bed. My leg hurts so bad. I cry into my pillow to muffle the sound. I don't want Eliza to wake up.

After hours of crying, I fall asleep.

Sorry this is so short I just wanted to get the sad stuff out of the way. Also, advertisement coming up!

I need a mom for my son, Doubted_The_Clod 

Obviously I'm the father. Anyways, if you would like to be my wife and my sons mom, just comment!
^^Really weird to put at the end of a sad chapter, I know
Anyways, see ya tomorrow!!!

BAII!!!

-Kenny