Ryden Kik

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Brendick: do you work at Dicks because you're sporting the goods

Ryro: do you work at sporting goods because you're a dick

Brendick: o

Ryro: love you :)

Brendick: whoa whoa ehia geoag whaoh

Ryro: great spelling Bren

Brendick: you didn't put a nose on it

Brendick: FINALLY

Ryro: dammit

Ryro: you've converted me

Brendick: good

Brendick: Ry

Brendick: I got more jokes

Brendick: and by more I mean one

Ryro: ugh

Ryro: fine

Brendick: the only straight I am is a straight up bitch

Ryro: damn right

Brendick: wow

Brendick: I feel so attacked right now

Ryro: I didn't say it I'm just agreeing with it

Brendick: fuck you

Ryro: but

Brendick: don't

Ryro: you're

Brendick: DONT

Ryro: a

Brendick: D O N T

Ryro: beautiful human being

Brendick: aw

Brendick: but how do you know I'm human

Ryro: are you saying I'm dating an alien

Brendick: not necessarily

Brendick: I could be like a chicken or something

Ryro: ...furry..?

Brendick: N O

Brendick: ..unless you're into that..

Ryro: n o p e

Brendick: ok good

Ryro: you know what I really don't understand

Brendick: life

Ryro: well yes

Ryro: but

Ryro: why do pill bottles say to take them by mouth

Ryro: how else would you take a damn pill

Brendick: shove it up your ass

Ryro: no

Brendick: yes

Ryro: n o

Brendick: y e s

Ryro: you wanna fight bitch

Ryro: I'll fucking fight you

Brendick: but you'll mess up my beautiful face

Ryro: I don't care

Ryro: its whats on the inside that counts

Brendick: so your dick is what counts

Brendick: cause its inside me a lot

Ryro: boi

Ryro: how

Ryro: we haven't even done that

Brendick: ,,,,true

====
Wonderful things said by one of our snare drummers, Peter

*while practicing near the woods* *in some narrator voice that you'd hear on animal planet* Oh look, the magestic deer, prancing through the woods... Wait.. That's a car. Holy fucking shit did it hit a tree? Jesus Christ

Someone: shut up peter, you're a lanky twig
Peter: correction, I'm a lanky twig with a headache

Band director: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: *while rolling himself into a ball* I'm becoming the earth

Peter: us band nerds stick together, right Charlie? (Quad player)
Charlie: fuck off

Someone: peter, what the fuck are you doing
Peter: *while laying on the ground, arms spread out to the side* waiting for my soul to leave my body so that I may finally become one with the demons
Charlie: *steps on Peters stomach*
Peter: you son of a bitch!  I could feel my soul leaving!  Two more seconds and I wouldve been gone,  but no, Charlie *last name that I'm not  giving out* over here has to go and ruin it for me!

*after band director was working with winds for long time, all of percussion was laying down during it* Can Peter get off the floor in time to dodge the drumstick EMC is about to throw at him?  Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z

(We call our director EMC)

*while by the woods*
Peter: guys look at that tree,  isn't it beautiful
Charlie: which tree,  peter
Peter: the one with the stick
The bass player that forgot his sticks: the white one?
Peter: don't call it that! How dare you assume it's race!

*after getting a new song*
Peter: that sounds like shit
Charlie: your ass sounds like shit
Peter: *kinda slowly, like he's confused I guess* I don't think my ass sounds like anything, sir

This was all from one practice
I'm pretty sure if I complied everything from every practice the list would make this chapter like 3,000 words long

This bitch that I hate got her lock flipped yesterday and I was honestly so happy about it
Wow I'm nice
But honestly she annoys the fucking hell out of me
Like I don't have any other reason to hate her other than she's annoying as shit