Once Upon A Moonlight✅ {BOYXBOY}

Chapter 3: Hurt And Hoping

(picture of Mike)

Word Count: 1707.

SAM'S POV:

I watched as my two best friends swiftly blended into the crazy crowd of students, pushing their way through the vandalised halls towards their destinations. Once I was sure they were out of sight I closed my eyes and gently headbutted my locker shut.

The truth is that I often put up a facade of happiness and excitement in front of them when in reality I felt far from joyous. Only when alone could I allow the already delicate, decrepit wall to crumble and let the brunt of my anxiety surge stronger than a creek. I stood there as my emotions ran wild, thoughts hurtling inside my head.

Some may question my genuineness towards my friends and why I mask my true feelings from those I care about. I should trust them enough to share my feelings. And whilst I trust them with my life, of course, my reasonings for hiding my emotions are complicated and endless. It's no secret that my excuses for avoiding certain topics are constant.

But what is a secret, is my sexuality.

Emily and Fred are always concerned about me. They have already sacrificed too much and compromised too often to be my friend. I saw the way they looked at me with pity and sympathy; two observant eyes noticing every little discretion in the facade I had created. For years I have burdened them both directly and indirectly with my innumerable problems. I hated that I was so weak - a flaw that eventually resulted in my telling Emily about my sexuality.

The day I told her was one that I will never be able to forget. I had decided to tell Emily because I couldn't bottle it up any longer but what ensued from that interaction was something I had dreaded ever since I realised I was gay at just thirteen years old. Something I could never have foreseen.

I was violently torn out of my thoughts when I felt a hand grab my arm and spin me around, shoving the back of my head into the locker with a large amount of force. I yelped in surprise and sank to the floor holding my head. I looked up and felt my face drain of colour at the towering figure standing over me, its deep ocean-blue eyes piercing mine.

"You missed our little session this morning," It seethed calmly, juxtaposing the hand grabbing me by my shirt and pulling me to my feet. 

I recognised the red varsity jacket immediately and as I was brought face-to-face with the brute, my breathing shuddered.

"M-Mike?" I gasped for air, looking around for any sign for teachers but the corridors were completely devoid of people. "P-please, I'm sorry I-" 

I didn't get to finish my sentence as a fist smashed into my stomach. I collapsed to the floor, attempting to keep myself from vomiting - from the physical hurt and an incoming panic attack. His eyes seemed to dwell on my lips for a moment.

"Don't let it happen again. I'll see you at lunch, don't be late," Mike hissed before giving me a quick kick. "Faggot."

I laid on the floor for a moment as I watched Mike swagger away until I was certain I wasn't going to throw up and then shakily got to my feet. As encounters with Mike went, that was pretty mild.

But the final word he uttered hit deeper than any punch or kick. 

"Faggot."

It was the one word I hated with every single fibre of my being. The sheer venom oozing from his tongue made me fall back onto my locker, clutching at my chest as I tried to steady my furiously beating heart. 

The fateful day I told Emily about my sexuality, Mike overheard the conversation and confronted me moments after Emily had left with a reassuring smile. I subconsciously wrapped my arms around myself, recalling the words Mike threw like daggers into my heart.