Bound To The Stars

Breaks & Chains.

The familiar voice was talking to Ma in the kitchen when suddenly i stopped hearing the voice.

I tried peeping to get a glimpse of the person but his back was turned to me.

I gave up and sat back down.

I continued reading my book when I felt someone close my eyes.

"Guess who?" the voice said.

And I Immediately knew who it was.

"Fai." I said smiling.

"Hanan." he said sitting down. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." I replied.

I had rehearsed that line so many times everyone thought I was actually okay but I was not.

I just masked the pain cause I didn't want to pull our house back into that depressing phase.

From his eyes, I could see he knew I was lying and he pulled me into a hug.

Before I knew it, I had stained his shirt with my tears. He passed me his handkerchief and said

"Don't cry, he's in a better place In Sha Allah."

We just sat there in silence until I decided to break it.

"When did you get back?" I asked in a husky voice.

"Last night." he replied.

"Did you come alone?" I said "What about Umma and Abba, Farhana?"

"They'd be coming tomorrow." he said.

I said okay and kept quiet.  He understood that I didn't want to talk so he didn't attempt to continue the conversation.

After a while, we heard the call to Maghrib and he said he was leaving.

He promised to return tomorrow and I just nodded my head and mumbled a goodbye.

Fai had come back and I was glad. He had really changed a lot. He was now taller and had heavily built muscles plus he had grown a beard also.

I remember when I used tease him about his height cause i used to be taller than him.

Fai and I go way back.

We were born on the same day so technically he was like my twin. His mom is Daddy's elder sister. We've been inseparable since childhood coupled with the fact that we were next door neighbours up until his dad was appointed as an Ambassador and they had to move to Dubai.

Fai and I were like bread and butter. He was the only one who understood me perfectly. I was so sad when they moved and even when we had that fight, I still missed him a lot.

He kept his promise and returned the next day. since then, he came to see me every day even though I hardly talked and just gave him vague responses.

♠️

I had resumed school and was heading out to the parking lot to wait for Mallam Isa when I spotted Fai's car.

My car was at the mechanic's so I had asked Mallam Isa to come pick me up.

I was wondering what he was doing here when he walked up to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I'm here to pick you up." he replied.

"But I've already asked Mallam Isa to.."

"Shhh!" He interrupted. "I ran into him at home and I told him he shouldn't worry that I was going to pick you up."

"Okay." I said and got into the car.

During the drive, I noticed he wasn't heading towards home.

"That's not the way home." I said.

"I know." he replied "we're going somewhere else."

"But Fai.." I started protesting.

"Just trust me." he said and continued driving.

I was eager to know where he was taking me as he was driving for almost 30 minutes. I was about to ask him to take me back home when we arrived at the place.

It was our favourite place cause that was where we made a promise to always be there for each other.

We got down from the car and the scenery was just beautiful.

We were at the Usman Dam.

We climbed on top of the rocks and found a place to sit down.

I started throwing stones into the water and I didn't know I was throwing them so hard until he grabbed my arm.

"Stop! You're going to hurt yourself."

"Just leave me alone!" I said running down to get into the water.

I knew I was a bad swimmer and I could drown but all I wanted to do was just disappear.

Fai ran after me and caught me before I could enter. I started hitting his chest and crying.

"Just let me go! It's my fault he's dead! I should have given him the drugs but I didn't. He told me he was okay but he wasn't. He died on my laps!! On my laps Faisal." I said sobbing into his chest.

He held me and allowed me to cry until I had stopped. He held my hand and we started walking around.

"Hanani" he called me by that name that he gave me since we were kids.

"I know it's very hard to come to terms with the death of Al and you think it was your fault but it's not. Remember Allah said; "Kullu nafsin za ikatul maut", every soul shall taste death. It was Al's time to go and I know he's in a better place In Sha Allah. You should be happy you were there with him before he died. Cherish that moment and don't ever forget the good times you shared with him. Stop feeling guilty for Al's death and I know he won't be happy with you trying to end your life."

He turned around and scooped my face in his palms.

"I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart."

He cleaned my face and put his arms around my shoulder while we walked back to the car.

After he dropped me off at home, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt a lot better after venting out and talking about Al.

I decided to only remember the good times we had and anytime I felt like crying, I'd replace it with prayers.

I was already in my final year and I had a project to concentrate on so my books became my companion even though Faisal always came to take me out everyday.

Fai was the definition of FUN. He never had a dull moment so we were always going out to do things. I even went horseback riding even though I used to be scared of horses.

♠️

Today was a boring day at school, Layla had ditched class to go on a date with Ya ahmad while Nadia wasn't around so I was left all alone.

I decided to take a walk around school before my next class when I spotted some boys playing football in the field.

I was reminded of Al and his never ending love for football.

I was remembering the last football match he played at his school's interhouse sports when I felt my head hit something hard.

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Aisha
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