I Saw You In The Water [Joshler]

Forty four 🐚

With tears streaming down Tyler's face, he could do nothing but sit cross-legged on the sandy shore and stare at the horizon in front of him. Waves of a deep royal blue crept towards him before running away, only to repeat the process in a cycle that caused droplets of salty water to spray onto Tyler's bare, sand-encrusted feet. A droplet fell on the damp sand marking it with sadness. Tyler sniffled, his damp hair stuck to his forehead as he rubbed his palms against his scorching eyes. It happened again, it never ends, he doesn't deserve a happy ending. Why did he ever thought that he did?

Tyler could almost feel the bitter irony on his tongue but later on, he realized it's his own blood gushing out because of how hard he bit his lip. A great sob escaped his chest making his whole body shake violently. The waves sparkled as they rolled onto the shore, the wind that gusted gave the ocean's surface the look of shattered glass, each tiny facet both reflecting a portion of the wintry sunrays and refracting the rest. It looked gorgeous but in Tyler's eyes, the ocean was disgusting. It held nothing but darkness, cold and pain. It took everything from him. His lover, his hopes, his whole life. The ocean took everything from Tyler and left him emotionally naked on the sandy shore to weep. It took everything but Tyler.

The boy stood on his feet, his fists clenched as he squinted his eyes at the roaring ocean. He bit his bloody lip, there was no pain bigger than the one he felt in his aching heart. What did he do to deserve this? Was he such a bad person to deserve all of this pain, all of this heartache? He threw his head back, his eyes closed as a yell was pushed out of his lungs.There was something in that shout, a pain behind it, desperation and incredible guilt. Like a hurt animal, he trembled on the sand, tears no longer streaming down the brunette's face because Tyler couldn't cry anymore. All the tears had been drained out of his eyes throughout those two years. He was left hollow like an empty shell with the skin of a man that hid the horrors of his soul. No one should be this broken, Tyler thought. But yet here he was, without a purpose, no surface free of scars left on his heart.

"I hate you! " Tyler yelled at the ocean "You took everything from me, I hate you! "

The boy grabbed a pebble off of the sand and flung it into the waves like it mattered. Like it would do something but where there was nothing left there still had to be something. The last kick before the curtain dropped down.

"I hate you! " Tyler yelled, his screams were pointless because the ocean would not listen

No matter how much he screamed the waves kept on rolling, crashing against Tyler's bare feet and retreating after grabbing what they could carry. The ocean was greedy. The ocean was death.

Tyler's glossy gaze wandered around aimlessly. He stared at the waves crashing against each other, splashing, wrestling each other and finally shattering on the sand beneath his feet. Tyler's gaze flickered, his heartbeat rose seeing a shadow move in the waves. Tyler took a hesitant step forward.

"J-Josh? " he croaked

His feet brought him into the water.

"Josh... " Tyler's lips barely moved as he whispered "Josh... "

Tyler's feet moved faster and faster, the boy panted as he glided through the waves fighting the resistance. His hands paddled desperately trying to push forward and even if the boy couldn't swim well he moved forward with determination and hope in his heart.

"Josh!" Tyler gasped as the salty water hit his face taking all of his breath away

The wiggly shadow disappeared under the water. Tyler's hands froze allowing his body to sink down. A second of hesitation pulled the boy under the water. The boy gritted his teeth and held his breath as he wiggled to get to the surface. He sank down and came back up more times than he could've count without losing the number.

Tyler had his limit. He swam too far down to the ocean and it was too late for him to turn back. Maybe now the ocean will take everything from Tyler including his last breath. Tyler was stupid for believing again. Tyler was stupid for hoping. There was only emptiness the future had to offer him so the boy might as well just let go of everything. That's what he did. 

Tyler's legs kicked around for the last time before abruptly stopping. Tyler was held above the water for a few seconds by the waves that crashed around him and swayed him on the surface like he was a rag doll. After Tyler's movements calmed down the blue started dragging him into the hungry depths. Tyler sunk into the black insatiable throat of the ocean. Tyler was drowning again but this time it was different. As much as it hurt the boy knew that it was the last time he's drowning. This time there is no one to save him, no one will drag him out to the surface. Maybe Tyler will find peace finally? He didn't want to die though, he just wanted the pain to go away. He wasn't killing himself either. Tyler had no strength in his limbs anymore, he was exhausted.

The blackness of Tyler's memories started to spread through his mind, clouding the brunette's thoughts and taking him back to places Tyler never wanted to revisit.  Tyler shook his head wanting the memories to go away, he was dying, why did he feel only pain? Isn't dying supposed to be peaceful? Tyler started hearing voices, at first they were distant but soon they grew into one loud hum. They only grew louder and louder. Tyler just wanted them to go away. Is that so much to ask? Just when he thought all hope is lost Tyler heard his voice calling his name. It was like a ray of light in the darkness of Tyler's past. It guided the boy back to reality, it guided air into Tyler's exhausted lungs. The distant melody grew louder making the voices fade away. The melody that Tyler knew so well.

Tyler felt him take his hands in his, pull him into his embrace like a child and suddenly everything was okay. 

The boy felt his presence but his heartbeat slowly faded. The boy saw the man force the necklace around his neck and a slight prickle on his skin woke Tyler from his trance. A familiar splitting pain shot through his head and Tyler sucked in water into his mouth hungrily filtering it out with his gills. Tyler paddled his legs like a newborn puppy suddenly feeling the water around him change. No, the water didn't change. It was Tyler who changed dramatically like that night in the bathroom. 

The boy didn't need to squint his eyes to see under the water anymore. Tyler's eyes were as wide as ever as he looked into the face of a human he thought he had lost. 

Josh's eyes crinkled as he smiled. The water surrounding him made his eyes even prettier, they looked gorgeous as the light penetrated the ocean shell. 

"I remember you." Josh's voice resonated under the water "I remember you..."