see what you're finding // 6th spam

brendon and spencer and pete

i actually don't talk about self-harm that much at all, when you think about it. i mean, i talk about it in almost every chapter of my spam books, but i never actually talk about it.

y'know what i mean?

it's like, i don't say where my scars are, nor how i make them, nor how bad it was in 2014 and 2015-

i just never talk detail.

i'm so scared of that. i'm usually a very open person, but for some reason i'm scared of actually sharing the full truth about this. there are of course people who know, but it took me a while to explain them he details. lucky for me, those people were nice to me.

and i like guess i'm just so scared of people's reaction. i always feel like people consider cutting as self-harm and they draw the line there, but there's actually so much more to it and people don't believe you because "if it's not cutting, it ain't self-harm"

but yeah, it's actually very hard for me to fight it, especially with it have grown into a terrible addiction. i'm trying to stop and i have so much inspiration that keeps me strong.

every adorable comment you leave me on here makes me smile so much and it really helps a lot. y'all are such amazing people, i can't believe i know you; i feel so lucky.

now, maybe i'll get into detail someday. maybe. we'll see. for now, i think i'm far too scared to do that.

i love y'all c:

xx