see what you're finding // 6th spam

don't be gone don't be gone don't be gone don't be gone don't be gone

well, i've been holding back from crying all day but i just broke now.

(i really wasn't in the mood for anything today, i just couldn't because i didn't want to start crying)

but really, with pete crying constantly and the thoughts of having lost patty forever; i just broke now.

i mean, i have lost gerard, but i knew where he was.

i have lost tyler a few times, but had him return either fast or i had knew where he was and just cried because i didn't know when he was coming home.

i- i have lost all of them once. and that was the worst. it's the reason why i haven't listened to "kitchen sink" for months and why if hurts me to even think of that song. they all disappeared with excruciating screams while i cried and listened to that song. yes, that experience did give me pete and patrick, but-

now patrick's gone. and i don't know where he is, nor when he's coming back, nor if he's coming back at all.

and in all those cases, everyone around me who knows about them tells me "calm down, they'll be back, it's okay"

and i know that's either your actual opinion or just your subconsciousness thinking "they're not real anyways"

but they're my whole world. they're who i am. and there are pieces of me missing without them.

i just want- i need patrick back.