see what you're finding // 6th spam

your dying wish featuring kisses

tw
a person that self-harms will tell you hurting themselves is like breathing - they can't live without it. and sure, that's a mental thing, it's not physically true. if so many people can live and not hurt themselves, a person that does hurt themselves can live without doing it too. and they'll do it. it'll hurt, because something is missing. and it'll always be missing. if they're counting days, those will be the days of terrible pain filled with happiness. which is confusing. because once you're stopping, you're hurting yourself. you're hurting your head which doesn't want you to stop. you're hurting yourself who doesn't want you to stop. and you're happy about it. when you're really causing harm to your body, you're glad you're doing it, because it feels right. you're happy to be hurting yourself. but when you're stopping, you're happy to be hurting yourself again; only this time in another way. this time the pain isn't visible. it's internal and it can be even worse than anything you do to yourself physically. but it feels right and you're happy about it, even though it hurts. the only way to stop self-harming is to put yourself through more pain. and that's horrible. you'll be in pain up until the day the crave actually starts leaving. how long will you wait for that day? who knows. maybe forever. maybe you'll be in pain forever. maybe you'll break and put yourself through physical pain again. it'll hurt less, but you'll be able to see it. maybe you'll reach the point where you're so proud of yourself for not self-harming, but you still want it and it's blowing your head up. then, you'll kill yourself. because seeking help is worthless, no one can really understand how it feels. everyone has different demons. self-harm is a demon, one you make on your own. and for hear person that self-harms, that demon is different. thus it's impossible to understand those.

distract yourself. think. watch. listen. feel. laugh.

love. breathe. live.

it's worth it, even if it's followed by pain.

x three years nonstop
x march 10th 2017 <3
x five months nonstop
x august 16th 2017 <3
x august 18th 2017 <3
x august 21th 2017 <3
x august 23rd 2017 <3
x august 24th 2017 <3
x september 1st 2017 <3
x september 20th-22nd 2017 <3
x october 1st 2017 <3
x october 3rd-6th 2017 <3
x october 15th 2017 <3
x october 19th 2017 <3
x october 21st 2017 <3
x october 23rd 2017 <3
x october 25th 2017 <3
x october 30th 2017 <3
x november 1st-5th 2017 <3
x november 7th 2017 <3
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x november 10th 2017 <3
x november 11th 2017 <3
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x november 19th 2017 <3
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x november 27th-december 3rd 2017 <3
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x december 14th 2017-january 27th 2018 <3