see what you're finding // 6th spam

let's do something good today before it's too late

here's what happened today.

german class finished and i plugged in my earphones to listen to music until the english class starts.

a song that i downloaded only yesterday came on. i don't want to say which one. i never even heard the song, because the words said at the beginning where what broke me.

at the words, i pulled my earphones out and started to cry. i thought i'd just cry like i usually do, but my heart was starting to beat very fast, i couldn't breathe and i was struggling with keeping my body up. my sight was starting to turn black and the only sound i could hear was the mix of my sobs and my desperate inhales.

then, voices appeared. my classmates on my left, trying to make me calm down. my boys on my right, on the verge of tears in fear. and no matter how much they were trying to tell me how to breathe and trying to calm me down, i couldn't. i was shaking as crazy, every part of my body had a rapid repetitive motion to it; i was just shaking so fucking much.

but then, between the worries and the instructions, i heard a voice speaking in english: "i have a cat and a dog"

a good friend of mine from my class was talking. and she kept on talking about her pets and so on about other stuff. she made me engage into the conversation. i had never stuttered like that in my life.

the same girl them took me to the bathroom and i washed my face. she then held my arms, trying to calm the shaking as it and the stammers were the only things left there.

she spoke to me about all sorts of stuff, just anything really to calm me down. then, another friend entered the bathroom and the three of us ended up talking a lot. i was still shaking a lot, and stuttering (but less), but we decided to head to class. the teacher offered to call my parents, but it was the last period and it was rly unnecessary. i even managed to participate in class, the teacher didn't mind the stutters.

i told my parents what'd happened, but i didn't tell them why it happened because i know that'd result in them forbidding music from me. and i certainly do not want that.

i actually didn't stop shaking until the evening. then, i went to the rifle shooting practice and all of my focus was on being calm for a good shot and it really really helped.

i'm fine now, don't worry about me.

but i have to apologize to nop_h-unintended , because you had sent me a snap right when this happened and i couldn't answer you. i'm so sorry, but i was just broken.