Silver Wings {Jungkook x Reader}

TWENTY-TWO

Jungkook's POV

I stare at the door that had been angrily slammed in my face, eyes wide with disbelief as I struggle to process what just occurred. What have I just done? I breathe in deeply, my eyes fluttering shut as I refrain from viciously kicking myself. Guilt swamps me, fully canceling out any lingering irritation I had directed towards her as realization crashes down onto my shoulders. I just drove her away. Again. No matter what I do, I can't seem to keep anyone by my side without upsetting them...

It's the truth, I have been purposefully avoiding (Y/N) since last week, but confessing the reason would be a harsh blow to any man's ego. For a while, she had refrained from using that cursed marshmallow-scented body wash which was heavily preferred, but only when she had recently begun using it once more did my behavior change. Confirming my dreaded fears, the scent of marshmallow mixing with her light lavender scent succeeded in weakening my knees and blocking out any intelligence I possessed and chipping away at the sturdy rope of my self-control until only a mere thread remained. I had never wished to offend or upset her; I was only attempting to cling to what's left of my self-control by holding her at an arm's length. I had to salvage my control in some way, because I certainly didn't want to lose it and pounce on someone as pure as her, especially after holding in any sexual interaction with another being for the past few months.

Another reason that I've distanced myself is because her personality is beginning to shift into one that holds the belief that physical contact is acceptable. Oddly enough, it's not that I despise her touch whatsoever; it's that I almost crave it despite my emotionally guarded heart and urging signals my brain sends me to shut down her displays of affection as soon as possible. Against my will, I soon found that my protective walls that defend my heart will practically melt at a mere touch of her hand, leaving my heart unguarded and free to feel any type of emotion.

I can't have that, especially when I'm being bred to be a trained killer and must view love as a mere obstacle to be overcome.

In my book, love doesn't exist.

But how am I supposed to apologize to her? I sounded way to controlling, but for a good reason. A frown crosses my face as I suddenly remember why I was currently being abandoned with my perplexing thoughts. I already upset her and I have absolutely no clue where she could be. Also, I need to figure out why I reacted in such a way when she told me that she was going out. My nose scrunches. Oh, that's right, it's because she's dressed quite provocatively and revealingly, and any man could fucking snatch her into his room. And who does she think she is, dressing in-

My thoughts freeze in my mind as a sudden image forces its way through the throng of scattered emotions. I almost choke as the memory of her long, honey-toned legs peeking from the hem of her oversized shirt flashes in my mind, lingering despite my vain attempts at shooing it away. No, I need to stay strong. What is wrong with me? I clench my jaw as the image embeds itself into my mind, her silky legs glowing beneath the light in an almost seductive manner and her petite frame appearing even softer and smaller when concealed by such a large shirt.

The mere thought of another man's hands on her body set off an alarm in my chest, and I was genuinely shocked to feel a pang of jealously lance through my heart. W-What? What is this? J-Jealously? No way. I can't possibly feel this way.

"What is wrong with me?" I mumble audibly, taking a couple steps away from the door. The marshmallow scent still lingers faintly in the air, the faintness of the scent doing little to ease the sudden weakness of my knees as I stumble my way to my bed where I collapse heavily. My head throbs, veins pulsating as the scent seemingly works its way into my bloodstream, overriding my systems until I can't think clearly.