100 Reasons Why Pt. 2

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Story belongs to Elireide @ A03

...Earth.  It’s so far, I can’t even see it.  The blue oceans, the white clouds, the green grass...I...I can’t see any of it.

Journal

Date: Is space time the same as Earth anyway?

I’ve never been away from home for long.  Even when I was in school, I spent a lot more time at my house than most of the other kids I knew.  My family was close.  Probably still are.  I wonder who misses me most?  Probably mom.  No more babysitter and no more housekeeper.

Not that I didn’t like being the babysitter or the housekeeper.  Maybe that's why I've taken to helping Corran with chores. Heck, I actually enjoyed cleaning the kitchen with the others.  Especially when it was just us kids!  We would spray each other, throw bubbles, smack each other with towels and end up drenched.  Mom was always mad, but not really.  She would yell, “limpia este desastre ”  in her angry mom voice but she was always smiling.

I miss all of them.  But I don’t want to show it, because the others have lost more than me.  They’ve all sacrificed so much.  Most of them will never have the chance to go home or see their family again.  I mean, I’m pretty sure Keith doesn’t even have a family.  Which is really shitty.  I couldn’t imagine not having a family to argue with every night over dinner.

It seems so stupid to miss something as trivial as that, but even when we were all yelling, I loved dinner time at home.  Little sis complaining about the peas for the third time that week.  Hermano sneaking little bits of his steak under the table to Noodle.  Papa pretending he doesn’t notice Noodle darting away to eat the food before coming back and begging again.

The food fight was one of the happiest moments I’ve had so far.  It was almost like being home again.  All of us at the table, yelling happily, throwing goo all over the place, making a giant mess.  It almost felt like it was normal for a bit.

But night time is quiet here.  There are no crickets to sing their lullabies.  No animals outside to howl a chorus.  The wind doesn’t whistle through my always open windows, telling stories of the day.  And I miss them almost as much as I miss everything else.

My room is empty too.  No sneaking little sisters coming in hoping to hear just one more bedtime story before deciding she was too tired to go back to her room. In this castle...ship...whatever, I don’t have to get up a few times a night to get more water for Allita or Fernán.  Not once have I been woken because someone had a nightmare but didn’t want to bother mom and papa.  

And I miss it.  I miss my broken sleep. I miss complaining that the house was too loud.  I miss not having my own bed most nights.  And explaining something like that to the others just seems stupid.  They all have enough on their plates.  Way more than I do anyway.  

Shiro just got home then was ripped away again.  Pidge is still hunting for family she may or may not ever find.  Hunk is scared, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.  Keith...I’m not sure Keith ever felt like he belonged to begin with.  And Allura and Corran lost literally everything.  So who am I to complain about missing a little noise?

My list isn’t growing very fast.  But I guess reason #2 will be little brothers and sisters.

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