Story belongs to Elireide @ A03
Nighttime is different. Things are otherwise when the world is black. Insecurities and hurts, anxieties and fears grow teeth at night. - Kate Morton
When everyone else sleeps, Lance cannot help but worry. His doubts, his fears they all come to life. They circle his head, whispering like the demons they are. He thought after a while it would stop. Lance dreamed of the day he could sleep in peace again. But those nights are typically only after long battles where he’s too tired to even change.
You’re not good enough. You’ll never be good enough. You just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Lance remembers feeling wanted. He remembers feeling loved. Back home, with his family, he never had to doubt that there were people who loved and cared for him. But here, in this castle, did anyone really care about him or did they just deal with him?
Once, when they first started their journey, Lance thought he was living the dream. All of his nights watching the rockets from Varadero finally paid off! He was in a ship of his very own, with a crew and a freaking princess. No, not just any princess, a gorgeous alien princess . Lance had his best friend, his classmate and even his hero to accompany him.
But it didn’t take long for his opinions to change. This was no dream. A dream was something you wanted to keep living. Not these long days with equally as long nights with nothing but the music from his crappy headphones to keep him company.
During the day, he spends his time joking with the others, even at their disdain because he realizes they all need a break. He flirts with Allura, because - well, she is really freaking pretty - but also because it gives her something else to focus on besides doom and gloom...if only for a minute. If Lance can be silly and garnish even a grin or two when the others are stressed up to their eyeballs, he feels he’s done his job.
But at night? That’s the time of day when he realizes that they would likely get more accomplished if it wasn’t for his constant screw ups. When everyone else is asleep, Lance realizes that the rest of them roll their eyes at him because they are tired of him. They have all grown. He’s just stayed the same.
Will he ever find a reason to want to be out here like the others? All of his family is back on Earth. And, of course, this mission was to help save Earth too. But it feels like such a long and distant thing. When was the last time any of them even saw another human? Will they really be able to save the universe anyway? They’re just a messed up bunch of kids.
Somewhere in the midst of his worries, Lance tends to fall asleep, pretending he was only so tired from exams. Tonight, just as he’s about to drift off, Lance hears something.
Knock knock
“Allita? Fernán?!” Lance jumps out of his bed for a minute, forgetting where he is and hurriedly opens the door to be met with the face of a tired Keith. “Right.” Lance says aloud before realizing it.
“Right?” Keith looks over then back to Lance.
“Er, nothing. What’s up?” Lance stretches then opens his door to let Keith inside. Tiredly, Keith follows suit in stretching.
