nineteen: holding on
"Alright, who's next?" Niall asks as soon as they leave Anne's house hand in hand, Harry still grinning like a fool as he always did when he left his mother's house. Harry didn't go home as often as he would've liked, so he cherished the time he got to spend with her when he did.
"Well... It depends on if you want to keep it just between family or not." Harry says, thanking Niall as he opens the door for his husband. Harry sits quietly as he waits for Niall to climb in, tapping his fingers against his leg.
"It's up to you, babe. I'm fine telling Liam, Zayn and Louis if you are." Niall says once he's in the car, earning a nod from Harry.
"Okay... I still think we should tell your parents before them." Harry says quietly, looking down at his hands before he bites down on his lip. Niall's family had always been a touchy subject, in their five years together Harry had only met Niall's parents once and that had been at their wedding. It hadn't ended well and Niall hadn't spoken to them in since.
"Yeah, that's not happening." Niall says, starting the car and pulling out of Anne's driveway. Harry starts to play with his hands, something he always did when he was nervous. He understood why Niall and his parents had a difficult relationship, but Harry felt like Niall kept holding onto the pain they'd caused him instead of letting it go like he really should. Harry wanted their family to be happy and he knew Niall did too... but if Niall couldn't move on, what were the chances of that happening? As it was, they were struggling. Sure, the last two days had been amazing... but Harry knew that it was only a matter of time until Niall does something to screw it up, or Harry says something he shouldn't have.
It was like walking on thin ice and that was something Harry always hated doing.
"It's their grandchild, Niall..." Harry says after a few minutes, his voice piercing the silence and Niall's grip on the steering wheel tightens. Niall didn't want this to turn into a fight, but Harry was never one to let things go so easily.
"So? They won't care, Harry." Niall says, keeping his voice steady but he could feel himself shaking. Harry lets out a sigh before turning to look at his husband. Niall's eyes were darker than usual, a tell tale sign that he was upset... and Harry wished more than anything that wasn't the case. Harry hated the fact that just the mere mention of his parents set Niall off and he avoided the subject due to the that... but sometimes, Harry had to say what was on his mind.
And Harry wanted Niall to be happy.
"I know... I know you have a rough relationship with your parents, Ni... but don't you think it's about time you move on?" Harry offers up, choosing his words carefully as he had no intentions of setting Niall off in any way.
"Move on? Harry, were you there at our wedding? Or was that just me? Because if I remember correctly, my own father stood up when the priest said "if there are any objections to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace" and launched into a thirty minute speech about how much of a disappointment he found me to be. And let's not forget about the screaming match he got into with my mother about how she didn't raise me right, yet he was the one who walked out on us when I was only six. So excuse me for not wanting to fix things with him." Niall says, his voice shaking now and Harry's regretting bringing it up... but Niall needed to get it out.
"What about your mother, Niall?" Harry asks, closing his eyes as Niall takes in a sharp breath.
"What about her? She's just as bad as he is. I'm not telling them, Harry. That's final." Niall says, pulling into the parking lot for their flat. It's quiet again as Niall parks the car, Harry not sure what exactly he was going to say next.
"You're not going to at leas tr-" Harry starts and that seems to be the final straw for Niall.
"Fucking hell, Harry. No, I'm not going to try. I don't want to try, I don't need another reason for them to judge me about something that isn't even worth judgement. I don't need them to remind me how much of a fuck up I am, I don't fucking need them and you need to fucking get over it. As far as my family is concerned, they're all dead to me and I'm sure that it's the same case for me. So just... just stop trying to force the whole happy family thing on me, that's not Horan's. We don't work like you do." Niall says, climbing out of the car before Harry gets the chance to say anything else. Harry stays in the car for a moment, folding his arms across his chest as he watches his husband walk towards the stairway. Harry understood where Niall was coming from, he really did...
He just wished that Niall wasn't so closed minded about it all... but that was yet another trait about Niall that Harry disliked.
He was so goddamn stubborn.
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oh cheese... i meant to update earlier this week but family came over for christmas and didn't leave till tuesday and then i went back to work which makes me tired af... BUT HERE'S THE LOVELY CHAPTER WITH MORE ANGST DESPITE THE FACT THAT CONNIE SAID THIS BOOK WOULD BE FLUFFY.
if you haven't realized this by now, I'm a pathological liar. I don't know how it happened, it just did.
anyways, qotc: will harry leave niall alone about his parents?
dedication goes to abby_harry
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connie xx
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Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)
Fanfiction"C'mon, Ni... We've been married for three years now, I want a baby." "Not now, Harry." or the one where Niall and Harry have been married for a while and all Harry wants is a baby.
