Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)

thirty-four: a year gone by

thirty-four: a year gone by

"H... Babe, you gotta come out eventually..." Niall's voice is quiet through the bathroom door later that night, the older boy almost timid as he wasn't sure what mindframe his husband was in at that moment. Harry had locked himself away as soon as Liam and Zayn had left, not that Niall really blamed him. It hurt him too... but he wasn't about to let his own feelings get in the way of something that was supposed to be exciting for his friends. He understood what Harry was feeling though and he wished there was someway he could help. 

"Harry?" Niall tries again, knocking on the wood this time and trying the doorknob. Harry seemed to have unlocked it as the door opened when Niall turned it. He walks in cautiously, looking around the somewhat spacious bathroom. Harry's sitting on the floor just next to the bathtub, his legs pulled up against his chest and his chin resting on his arms. Niall gives him a sad smile, his own heart tugging at the fact that it was more than clear that Harry was still crying. Niall joins him on the floor, wrapping an arm around his husband. 

"You okay?" Niall asks, already knowing it was a stupid question before he asked it. He just didn't know what else to say and he needed to get Harry talking. If there was one thing Niall had learned from all of this was that they needed to comminucate. 

"It's not fair." Harry whispers, his voice shaking a little as he looks over at Niall. Niall's heart clenches just a slightly, hating to see Harry like this but there wasn't much he could say or do to make Harry happy about the situation. It was rough, the last year had been rough.

"I know... but this is something exciting for them and they're our friends... We should be happy for them." Niall tries, but Harry's shaking his head and leaning against the edge of the bathtub. 

"I just... I don't get what I'm doing wrong? We've been trying for so long and I just... I need a baby, Niall. I just need something to fill this... this hole in my heart? I know a new baby won't ever begin to replace what we lost, but... I feel like I deserve the shot to be a parent, after everything... and fucking Zayn and Liam already have that chance. They have their daughter, we don't. So how is that fair? What did we do to deserve this?" Harry asks, fighting back more tears and all Niall can do is pull Harry closer. Niall didn't have all the answers, no matter how badly he wished he did. 

He didn't know what they did, what caused them to lose Nevaeh, but he did know that Harry didn't have to blame himself for things he couldn't control. Losing Nevaeh wasn't either one of their faults, it took Niall longer than he cares to admit to realize that. Harry seemed to still think it was his fault though, no atter how often Niall tried to convince him otherwise. Niall could only hope that Harry would finally figure it out. 

"We didn't do anything... but maybe losing Nevaeh... God, losing her will always be the worst thing that's happened to us... but it's made us stronger, it's made us grow... and maybe in order for us to be truly ready for a family, that's what had to happen. I know it's hard and fuck... I know this sucks because I know how bad you want a baby and how bad I want one too... but we can't force it to happen. It'll happen when it happens and the best we can do is just... wait." Niall says quietly, rubbing Harry's back as his husband rests his head against his shoulder. They fall into a silence after that, Niall's words seeming to sink but he knew that Harry wasn't going to just magically feel better. Niall tries to think of what else to say, looking around the room for something else to talk about when his eyes catch the clock. It was just after midnight, their anniversary finally starting. 

"Guess what? We've offically been married for four years now." Niall says and Harry moves off his shoulder with a confused expression on his face. 

"What?" 

"It's after midnight, happy anniversary. What would you like for your present this year?" Niall asks and Harry lets out a sigh. 

"I want a baby, but I don't think it's going to happen." Harry says honestly and Niall gives him a tight squeeze. He understood how Harry was feeling, but Niall was still trying to look on the bright side. 

"It'll happen, babe... but how about I take you out of the city? Your mum offered up the bungalow for the weekend." Niall says quietly, kissing Harry's temple as he shrugs. 

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we do." Harry says and Niall feels his heart tug just a little. A lot had changed in a year, Harry wasn't the vibrant indivdual he once was and that concerned Niall... therefore, he was deteremined to make this an anniversary to remember, treating Harry like the prince he was and hopefully bringing some light back into him. 

A baby wasn't going to fix Harry, Niall knew that, and neither was a weekend away. 

But it was worth a shot, and Niall was going to try his hardest to make his husband happy again. 

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i don't even have any more excuses anymore, i apologize. 

I SWEAR THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED EVENTUALLY

dedication goes to justxnarryx

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connie xx