Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)

twenty-seven: together

twenty-seven: together

Niall waits for Harry to come back, sitting on the couch with his head in his hands for what felt like hours. Niall didn't regret what he said, he felt like he needed to say it... but he does regret letting Harry walk away. Niall didn't know where his husband was, what he was doing... for all he knew Harry had gone to seek comfort with the reason they even had this stupid fight... Niall trusted Harry of course, but the later it got... the worse the feeling in his gut seemed to be. 

Eventually Niall can't sit around anymore, finally standing up from the couch because he just couldn't take it. He had to do something to take his mind off it, to take his mind off everything. He thinks maybe a shower will do it, but as he walks past the spare bedroom to get there he stops. The door was still slightly open from the last time he'd gone in there... he could see the closet... he knew what was behind that door.  

He couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't keep those things inside his home any longer. He didn't care if Harry wanted them, just like Harry didn't seem to care about him anymore. So Niall goes into room, he opens the closet and he starts throwing things out of it. Presents hit the wall, tears are falling down Niall's face and all he could think about was how robbed he felt. 

Niall had been broken before, he knew that eventually the pain goes away... but in that moment he didn't think it ever would. They'd never see her face, they'd never hear her voice, they never even gave her a name and now they're falling apart. Harry wasn't there for Niall, instead he was out probably fucking his ex boyfriend because Niall pushed him to it. 

But Harry wasn't doing that, in fact he was still at their building. He had thought about taking a drive, going somewhere to get away but the second he climbed into the car he couldn't stop crying. He wasn't as fine as he pretended to be, he thought if maybe he started acting like he was okay... Niall would finally start talking about it. Harry regretted bringing Issac into their home, he regretted the things he said... but he couldn't just walk in there and take it all back. 

He couldn't tell Niall the truth, the truth that every time he looked at him... all Harry saw was their baby. Niall was always going to be a constant reminder of what they lost for Harry... a constant reminder that it was Harry's fault. He should've said something, if he had... things would've been different. They wouldn't be holding on by a thread, they wouldn't be screaming at each other. Harry would be inside right now, talking quietly to Niall about the fact he wanted to name her something unique... 

Something different. 

But that wasn't what happened, Harry had lost their baby... and he hated himself for it. He wasn't surprised that Niall hated him too, that Niall blamed him. It was his fault, so Niall had every right to think that way. Niall had every right to hate him and Harry was terrified that when he walked back into their home... Niall would tell him he couldn't do it anymore. That this would be what broke apart everything... Harry could't lose Niall too. 

Niall is sitting in the middle of the trashed room, his head in his hands as he sobs quietly to himself. He thought it would make him feel better to have it all out in the open, but if anything he just felt worse. He would never be able to forget what happened, he would never be able to forgive himself. Maybe if he wasn't so fucked up, things would be different. Maybe they would've been okay, they wouldn't be holding on to the edge by just one hand that was already slipping. 

Eventually Niall stops crying, pulling himself to his feet and starting to clean up his mess. He grabs trash bags, filling two of them with everything in that room. He doesn't keep a single thing, walking out to the dumpster in his bare feet despite the January air. It was snowing when he goes outside, but he doesn't care. He has to walk past Harry's car as he heads to the dumpster, the sight surprising but it doesn't make him stop. He throws everything away, turning around and catching Harry's eyes. 

He doesn't get in the car with his husband though, walking past him again because Niall honestly couldn't deal with it right now. So he goes back inside their flat, sitting back down on the couch where he waits until Harry finally gets enough nerve to get out of his car an hour later. Niall doesn't even look at him as he walks through the front door, not that Harry blames him... Niall probably thought the same as Harry did, Harry being the constant reminder of what they lost for Niall just as Niall was to Harry. 

Harry sits down next to Niall, but he doesn't say anything. He can't think of the right things to say because sorry just didn't seem like the right thing to say. So instead he rests his head on Niall's shoulder, crying quietly when Niall takes his hand in his and plays with the rings on his fingers. It was enough for now, tomorrow they'd talk more... but in that moment, they'd said all they could say.  

Maybe they were broken, but that didn't mean they couldn't fix each other. 

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wow, i'm just being all nice and shit to you guys updating frequently and shit. also it's cause this is the only story i actually feel inspired to write tbh so that's the real reason lol.

qotc: ohhhhhhhh cheese, idk. um. fuck. i don't have one so just like comment your favorite or least favorite thing about the chapter? idk. just set me on fire, kay?

dedication goes to Monii_qkaah

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