lol, i dropped off the face of the planet and now i'm doing a jump forward chapter cause i fucking suck. bye.
thirty-one: a small light
Life moves on for Harry and Niall, simple as that. They start to heal, Niall spending more time back at home and Harry cutting off all ties to Issac like it was nothing. They start going on weekly dates again, simple things such as movie night in the living room or a trip to the diner yet again. Niall was happier and so was Harry, but there was still a lot of pain buried beneath their smiles. Harry still couldn't hold Analiese whenever Liam and Zayn came over and Niall was still having a hard time sleeping.
But they were doing okay and Niall felt like they were finally getting past it. They were communicating again, Harry saying what is on his mind and Niall listening. The idea of starting a family seemed to be put on the back burner though, neither of them seeing keen on the idea. Niall brought it up more than Harry did, just comments here or there but nothing that said he was ready. Harry was honestly terrified of the idea, still blaming himself for the lose of Neaveh. He often spent nights wondering what would've happened if he'd told Niall he wasn't feeling well, maybe they could've saved her... and Harry felt like if they had another baby, it would be like replacing her... and Harry didn't want to ever replace her.
Harry was trying to keep himself distracted tonight, making dinner for Niall who was running a little late from work. It was a rough day for them both, the official due date for Neaveh having finally arrived. Harry knew it was going to rough, if things had gone right, they'd be having their little girl. She'd be alive, breathing, and Harry would see just how beautiful she truly was. He would have that baby he so desperately wanted... but things hadn't worked out like that. Instead he was making up one of Niall's favorite dinners to keep himself from dwelling.
"Honey, I"m home." Niall yells into the flat, walking through the front door with an energy that makes Harry smile despite his bad mood. He liked this Niall.
"In the kitchen!" Harry yells back, turning his attention away from the stove as he hears Niall walk further into the flat. He grins even larger when he finally catches sight of his husband.
"How was your day?" Niall asks, walking up to Harry and wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and resting his chin onto his shoulder. Harry places a quick kiss to Niall's temple before going back to the food on the stove.
"It was alright, better that you're home of course. How was yours?" Harry asks, listening to Niall breathe which Harry always found comforting.
"It was good, I might be leaving next week for a festival. Just depends on if Louis can get it arranged or not." Niall says, earning a nod from Harry. It would be the first festival Niall had gone to since it had happened and Harry honestly wasn't looking forward to him being gone. Lately, Niall was all that kept Harry distracted.
"Where are you guys going?" Harry asks and Niall pulls away from the embrace. He leans against the counter next to the stove, watching Harry cook as they talk.
"It's just in Liverpool so I would only be gone for a day or two. It's on a Friday though, so you're probably good to come along if you wanted." Niall offers, earning a shrug from Harry who turns off the stove. Niall takes that as his queue to set the table, reaching into the cupboard for two plates. Harry smiles at him gratefully, dishing out the food onto both plates. Niall takes them to the table as Harry grabs out the cups and silverware. Once they're both at the table, Niall looks at Harry expectantly.
"What?" Harry asks, getting ready to take his first bite.
"You didn't answer me." Niall points out which only earns him another shrug from Harry.
"That's because I'm not sure if I want to go or not. Do you need my answer right now?" Harry asks and Niall shakes his head.
"No... but I would really enjoy it if you did join us. It'll be nice to get out of the flat, don't you think?"
"Yeah, it would be..." Harry says quietly and there's a silence for a while as they both eat. Niall could tell that something was off with Harry, the way he wouldn't maintain conversation and the way he wouldn't really look at Niall when he did talk was enough to tell him as such. So Niall waits until they're done before he asks what's wrong, feeling his heart drop when he realizes it.
He felt guilty for not realizing it sooner, his smile dropping as he looks at Harry. Harry tells him it's okay, but Niall can tell he isn't doing as well as he wanted to. Harry goes into the kitchen to do the dishes and Niall comes up with an idea to make this day something better than it was. He walks into the spare bedroom to grab the paper lantern he'd bought ages ago, having wanted to do this for Harry for his birthday but it didn't happen.
"C'mon... I've got something I want to do." Niall says after walking into the kitchen, grabbing Harry's hand and dragging him away from the sink before he could protest. Niall takes him to their back balcony, shutting the door to the flat behind him as Harry looks at him expectantly. Niall pulls out the paper lantern, handing it over to his husband.
"What is this for?" Harry asks
"It's for Neaveh. It's for her and it's for you and it's for me... I wanna light a lantern for her, every year from here on out because I don't ever want to forget her. She'll always be our angel, H." Niall whispers, Harry crying before he even finishes speaking. Niall wraps his arm around Harry as they both face the city, reaching for the lighter with his free hand. Niall lights the lantern for Harry, smiling softly when his husband rests his head against his shoulder as he finally lets go.
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so, to start off, i suck. i'm sorry and i really want to get back in the groove of writing but once again i'm just stressing myself out, people are stressing me out...
and thus, i'm going back on a hiatus where i just don't talk to anyone for a little while. i've got a grip on my shit, tbh.
qotc: what do you guys think about niall's lantern idea?
dedication goes to Soukaina2018
comment
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connie xx
YOU ARE READING
Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)
Fanfiction"C'mon, Ni... We've been married for three years now, I want a baby." "Not now, Harry." or the one where Niall and Harry have been married for a while and all Harry wants is a baby.
