twenty: a shoulder to cry on
Harry takes his time heading into their flat, spending the few minutes it takes him thinking of ways to get Niall to forgive him. Harry knew he'd been out of line, he really should've just let it go when Niall asked him to... but Harry just wanted Niall to he happy, and he had thought getting Niall to let go of the hatred towards his family would've done just that... Clearly that wasn't the case and Harry knew that... but he felt like he had to at least try.
Harry takes in a deep breath as he walks into the flat, looking around cautiously as he wasn't quite sure what frame of mind Niall was in currently. Niall could get pretty violent if he was upset, never towards Harry of course but that didn't mean Harry wasn't cautious. The flat is practically silent though and Harry lets out a long sigh of relief, standing up a little straighter as he walks towards the bedroom. Niall has locked himself inside their bathroom, the sound of the shower running echoing through the room. Harry knows better than to intrude, Niall needing to be alone for a little while and Harry still needed to figure out what to say. He didn't want Niall to be angry with him as Harry didn't mean to upset him in the first place.
So Harry waits and eventually Niall walks out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Neither of them say anything as Niall pulls on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, the silence nearly driving Harry insane. Harry bites his lip, still trying to figure out the right thing to say in that moment because it was more than clear Niall wasn't going to be the one to speak first.
"I'm sorry." Harry finally manages to get out, looking down at his hands as Niall lets out a sigh. Niall finally joins Harry on the bed, sitting down next to his husband and taking one of his hands into his.
"I'm not... I'm not upset with you, Harry. I'm... I'm mostly upset with myself because you're right... You made some points about how I keep... how I keep holding onto what happened to me in my past and how I really should just let them go... but it's not so simple, you know? If I let it all go, I'll forget... and if I forget, what's stopping me from being like them? I'm already like my father, I'm angry all the time, I drink to forget and I... I keep trying to find reasons why I can't be happy. I'm blaming him and if I stop blaming him... I'll be him." Niall whispers, burying his face into Harry's shoulder and Harry feels his shirt start to dampen. Niall didn't like letting people see him cry, let alone Harry... In their five years, Harry had only seen Niall cry twice.
"Niall... You aren't him. You're better than he is and I'm sorry that I brought him up. I shouldn't have... and I don't... I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into doing something you don't want... and if you don't want to speak to your father or your mother, I understand that and I support your decision completely. It was wrong for me to do that." Harry whispers back, resting his head on top of Niall's. They fall into another silence, Niall's shoulders shaking for a little while and Harry wishes he could make it better. Eventually Niall calms down, removing his head from Harry's shoulder and placing a soft kiss to his husband's cheek.
"How did I get so lucky to find a man like you?" Niall whispers, looking at Harry with a soft expression that reminded Harry of when they first got together. It was one of the things that Harry loved about Niall, how despite all the turmoil going on inside of him, he still looked at Harry like he was his world.
"I'm the lucky one, Niall." Harry says, smiling ever so slightly as he runs his fingers through Niall's still damp hair.
"We could argue about this all day... but I'm really the lucky one, H. You've chosen to be with me despite all of this, you're having my baby." Niall says, ducking his head down to kiss Harry's stomach which earns a snort from Harry.
"What?" Niall asks after he pulls away, looking up at his husband with a curious expression.
"You're a fucking weirdo, there isn't even a bump there to kiss." Harry says, earning a laugh from Niall who wraps both his arms around Harry.
"Doesn't matter, that's where our baby is and I'll kiss it if I want to. It's all I get to do till she's here." Niall says and Harry quirks one of his eyebrows at that.
"She? We don't even know if it's a she." Harry points out, earning a nod from Niall before he shrugs.
"Yeah... I know, but I just... I have this feeling. She'll have your eyes, your smile, but she'll have my love for footie and my charisma. She'll be best friends with Analiese of course, they'll be inseparable... Are you crying, H?" Niall asks, surprise in his voice as Harry sniffles a little.
"No, fuck off." Harry grumbles out, rubbing way his tears because he didn't think they'd ever reach this point... Where Niall was actually excited about their baby and thinking about how their lives would be with her. Harry wanted that little girl too, with his eyes and smile and of course Niall's love for footie. Harry was ready for their future and it felt like Niall was finally there to.
"You totally are!" Niall teases, earning a glare from Harry.
"I fucking hate you, Horan."
"I love you too, H."
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annnnnnnnnnnnd there's chapter twenty! AND THERE'S NO BABY YET, FUCK THIS IS GONNA BE ANOTHER LONG ASS BOOK... WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE GOOD SHIT YET, I CRY.
but awwwwwwwwwww, narry being all cutesy...
and i'm crying again.
and next chapter will be a jumpy chapter.. just a few months of course.
this will probably be my last update this year. or there might be another one later, depending on how lazy i am.
BUT IF THIS IS MY LAST UPDATE OF THE YEAR, I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD NEW YEARS AND HOPEFULLY 2018 IS AN EXCELLENT YEAR FOR YOU CAUSE YOU DESERVE THE BEST (especially putting up with my shit... holy cheese)
anyways, qotc: got any baby names? boy or girl is finnnnnnne.
dedication goes to FireOnTheMountain83
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connie xx
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Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)
Fanfiction"C'mon, Ni... We've been married for three years now, I want a baby." "Not now, Harry." or the one where Niall and Harry have been married for a while and all Harry wants is a baby.
