Baby Hungry (narry mpreg)

twenty-eight: a name just for her

twenty-eight: a name just for her

Niall wasn't sure how long they sat on the couch in absolute silence, but eventually the sun came up and filled their living room and Niall feels like maybe it was about time he said something. He wanted to, but what was he supposed to say? Everything that came to mind just didn't seem right... 

"We... We should give her a name." Niall eventually whispers, breaking the silence. Harry stiffens in Niall's arms for a moment before he pulls away to look at his husband. It wasn't that he didn't agree with Niall... He just didn't know if he could. Giving her a name seemed like too much... but he knew Niall needed to just as badly as Harry did. She deserved a name. 

"What... What did you have in mind?" Harry asks quietly, biting on his lip as he starts to play with his fingers. He feels like he's about to start crying again despite the fact he'd spent most of the night already doing so. It was Harry had been doing lately it seemed and he honestly hated it... 

"I don't know, I just know it has to be something... Something that's just for her because she deserves that... she deserves more, but right now... that's all I got." Niall continues to whisper, biting on his lip as he finishes speaking. He wished more than anything they weren't having this conversation, but that wasn't the case. 

"Okay... What about... What about Nevaeh?" Harry offers, the name having been on his mind since the hospital... He knew it was a cliche, maybe it was too basic... but their baby girl was in heaven, so maybe that's what they should name her. 

"I like... I like Nevaeh." Niall says, grabbing Harry's hand again as he blinks back tears of his own. He didn't want to cry, but he knew he had to let it out... he was trying to be better about letting things out. 

"I know it's... it's a bit weird cause it's just the word heaven spelled backwards, but I just... I feel like it fits, it would fit her..." Harry says, looking at his husband with a sad smile on his face. It hurt him to talk about it, just as much as it hurt Niall... but it needed to be said. They couldn't continue on like this, holding everything in and acting like it's all okay. It wasn't good for them and it wasn't good for their marriage... and Harry really couldn't lose Niall too. 

"It does... It would've... It fits, I think Nevaeh is perfect for her. She needs a middle name though..." Niall whispers, sniffing a little as he sits up on the couch. Harry lets out a sigh before throwing his legs over his husband's lap, keeping their fingers together though because he wanted to be close to Niall still. 

"Anne?" Harry throws out, laughing a little when Niall's nose scrunches up at the name. 

"As much as I love your mother, I don't think Anne would fit her." Niall admits, earning a nod from Harry. 

"Yeah... It was just a suggestion. What are you thinking?" Harry asks, starting to play with Niall's hair with his free hand. Niall hums at the feeling, having missed being close to Harry like this. It wasn't perfect of course... but Niall would take what he could get. 

"I've always liked the name Rose..." 

"Nevaeh Rose Horan, she would've been perfect." Harry says, the sentence seeming to hang in the air for a moment. Niall wanted to agree, but in that moment he could only think about how they would never know. 

"I think... I think she would've had your eyes, I know you've always pictured her with my eyes... but I think she would've had your blue..." Harry continues to talk though, his voice shaking as he does so but he didn't care. 

"She would've had your smile." Niall joins in despite how much his chest was hurting, his eyes clenching shut for a moment in hopes that maybe that would make it better... but he could only see the balloons that were now in a dumpster with everything else that would remind him of the life they could've had... 

"I know... I know it's too soon right now... and I won't blame you if you say no... but do you think that maybe eventually... you'd... you'd want to try again?" Niall is the one to ask this, opening his eyes and looking over at Harry who looks somewhat bewildered by the question. If anyone had told Harry a few months ago that Niall would actually be on board for trying for a baby, he'd think they were crazy... yet here they were, Niall being the one to leave that door open instead of Harry. 

"If... If that's what you want... then yeah, I would... but I understand if you don't, Ni... You didn't want this to begin with and I'm sorry that... that I put you through this." Harry's voice is once again barely over a whisper, a few tears slipping out of his eyes and Niall is moving so that he's looking at Harry directly. 

"H, this wasn't your fault. These things happen and we're gonna make it through this... It's going to be shit for a while, I won't lie to you... but we're gonna be okay and eventually we'll try again. I want a family with you, Harry." Niall says, reaching a hand out and cupping Harry's cheek. 

"Even after..." Harry trails off, biting on his lip as Niall nods. 

"Even after... I love you, Harry." Niall says, making sure that Harry's looking at him while he says it because it was important for Harry to know it. The words alone bring a smile to Harry's face, one that actually seemed to reach his eyes which hadn't happened in days. 

"I love you too." 

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legit crying cause it's sad, but they're also so cute and adorable and and and i tired. it's been a long week and it's only wednesday... 

WHY CAN'T IT BE FRIDAY??? CONNIE IS READY FOR FRIDAY. 

actually, i'm more ready for saturday cause i get to sleep in on saturdays....

anyways, qotc: how long do you guys think narry will wait until they start trying again? 

dedication goes to NarryNut1211

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connie xx