"Friends" 2 || G.D. ||

19: Breakfast

Lynn's P.O.V. 

I wake up still on the floor and stretch, no longer holding Grayson's hand. I yawn and look around seeing that Grayson is still on the couch. I feel dirty like I haven't got a shower in three days but I took one yesterday.

I stand up and stiffen. My neck hurts when I move it, probably from laying on the floor. I try to keep my neck straight as I walk to the bathroom and strip. I step into the shower and turn the water on, turning it to the right temperature which is hotter than warm but not burning.

I think more and more about yesterday. Maybe I should just give Grayson a week or two to think about our situation. Maybe I should think about it to myself more. I know that it is hard to comprehend because I am still trying to understand it. It still hurts knowing that it is going to be extremely hard to have children. It breaks my heart. 

Maybe it was sign. Maybe? I don't know! We are turning 18 in less than 3 weeks. Like 2 and a half weeks basically. Maybe it was a sign telling us that we weren't ready for a child. We have the money. I have like 50,000 saved up and Grayson has like 70,000 and we just continue to save. 

We talked about getting a house. We talked about building a life together. We both agreed that it was a good idea to save up. We also talked about going out and getting a job. Before, when we were going to school, my mother sent me money to live on and it was great. 

I almost regret moving away at 16 and coming to L.A. because I missed time with Chase and my mother and now they are both gone and it still hurts like hell. I wish that Chase and my mother could see where I was now. Well, probably not RIGHT now since I am in the shower but still. 

I get out of the shower after I am done and wrap myself in the towel. I walk to our bedroom and get dressed in grey sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. I leave my wet hair down and walk out of the bedroom. 

Almost as if on cue, my stomach groans at me. I sigh and walk down the hallway and into the kitchen. I look over, still trying to keep my neck straight and see a still asleep Grayson on the couch. 

I get a pan out quietly and then get eggs out. I crack 6 eggs into a bowl and mix it, and then put it in the pan. I get the sausage out of the freezer and put into another pan. 

I stir the scrambled eggs and put some cheese and ham in the eggs, knowing that Grayson loves that. I grab the bread and put it in the toaster. I put half the eggs and sausage on one plate and the rest on another plate. 

I get the toast out of the toaster and butter it, setting one piece on each plate. I grab two forks and carry the plate to Grayson. I set the plates on the coffee table and lean over Grayson, shaking his shoulder. 

"Grayson," I whisper, "Grayson, get up."

"What," he groans deeply, making my stomach flutter.

"I made breakfast," I say.

He sighs and sits up, opening his eyes slowly. 

He stands up and starts walking to the bathroom.

"I have to piss," he says. 

I get back up and go to the kitchen and get two cups, pouring orange juice in each cup. I walk back to the front room and set the cups down on the coffee table next to each plate. 

Grayson walks out of the bathroom and back into the front room, looking at the food, "What did you cook for?" 

"I have to have a reason to cook?" I ask.

"I guess not," he says.

"You're welcome," I say.

"Thanks," he says, picking up his up his fork and eating his eggs. 

"God," he moans, "I haven't had this type of eggs in forever. Oh, my God!" 

I giggle at him.

"This is really good, Lynn. Thank you for cooking," he says. 

"No problem," I chuckle, "Just eat."

We sit in an awkward silence while we both devour our food. 

"What are we supposed to talk about," Grayson asks. 

"What do you mean," I ask, not knowing what he wants to talk about. I just know that I don't want to argue. 

"I'll talk about anything but yesterday," he says.

There is a silence that fills the air. Thats all I want to talk about, though. I want to give him time to adjust but I want to be able to talk to him about it. I want him to adjust with me. I want him to know how I feel and I want to know how he feels. 

"Why not?" I ask. 

"Because, Lynn," he says, finally.

"Why?" I whisper.

"Because!" he yells. 

"Okay, okay. Fine," I whisper, feeling the tears coming. Why am I so emotional? Lately, I have been so emotional about everything that happens and I don't know why. Its probably because I am about to start my period. 

"Don't cry. Please don't cry," he says.

"I'm sorry," I whisper wiping away the tears.

"Goddammit!" Grayson yells, throwing his fork down and setting his head in his hands.

I get up and grab his empty plate and my empty plate and walk them to the kitchen, setting them in the sink. I turn around and lean on the counter, wiping the tears from my face again. I slide down the counters and sob. 

I cover my mouth, trying to be quiet. I don't want Grayson to hear me. I don't want to make him angry. 

I hear his footsteps into the kitchen. I fold my arms and lay my head into my arms and continue to cry, hoping he doesn't see or hear me.

I feel his eyes find me and I hear him sigh and his footsteps get closer. 

"I hate that this is hurting you. I hate that I am the reason for it. I love you, Lynn. You know that. I just don't want to talk about this right now. Or ever," he says. His footsteps continue, now walking away from me. I hear the bathroom door close and the water turns on. 

He didn't even hug me. He didn't try to make me feel better. He didn't do anything. Why is everything changing? Does he even fucking love me the same way he did before we figured out that it's going to be hard to have a child?

I want to fix us. I need to fix us. I am going to fix us but right now I am pissed.

Something inside of me snaps. I suddenly stop crying and I wipe the tears from my face and stand up. I go to the kitchen table and grab my purse and keys, making sure I have my keys, and walk out of the apartment, straight into the elevator, out of the building, and into my car. 

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