"Friends" 2 || G.D. ||

20: Hotel

Lynn's P.O.V. 

I sit in my car, with my head on the steering wheel for 3 minutes just breathing. I slap and pound on the steering wheel until tears are pouring down my face. 

"GOD DAMN IT!" I scream at no one. 

I start the car, not knowing where I am going. I just need to breathe. I drive calmly until I have driven out of the city and into a small town. I have zero clue where I am at or how long I have been driving. My phone hasn't gone off at all. 

I stop at a gas station and fill up my gas tank, seeing that I am close to Empty. I go inside and pay for the gas and get a pack of mint gum. 

I walk back out to my car and drive to a nearby hotel. I pay for a room for one night and get the keys, heading up to my room. I need to think. I need space. I need to be by myself. 

I unlock the door and walk inside, closing the door behind me. I sit my purse down on the small table next to the bed and sit down, setting my head in my hands. I fall back and hold the pillows to my face, screaming because I don't know what else to do. 

I want to go to Ethan and talk to him. I want to talk to Monica but she seems like she is angry at me. She is supposed to be my best friend and I need someone to talk to. I need my mom.

I get my phone out of my purse and unlock my phone. I go to my contacts and click on Monica's name without hesitation. I need someone to talk to and I want that person to be her. 

I put the phone up to my ear, hearing it ring. 

"Hello?" Monica says.

"I need to talk to you," I sniffle.

"About?" she says.

"I don't know. Just everything, I guess," I say.

"Why don't we talk about the fact that you and Ethan seem to be stuck up each other's asses," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"You seem to have a huge thing for Ethan or something because you hang out all the time and you have gotten him to be stuck up your ass," she states.

"No! That isn't how it is! Monica, he is the only person that has been there for me these last two days. He has been one of my closest friends since we were babies," I explain.

"Why don't you go to your husband," she stresses. I hear a cough in the background

"Because he doesn't want to talk to me for some reason. Please don't tell me that you are angry at me too. Please, I need someone," I say. 

"Seems like you have Ethan," she says. I hear another cough and then a voice saying something about hanging up. It sounds like Grayson's voice. My heart hurts so fucking much. It feels like it is ripping. I feel like I'm going to puke.

"I need to talk to you, please, Monica, please don't be like this. Please," I beg. Tears start slipping from my eyes again and I can't stop them. I can't stop these damn emotions anymore. 

"I gotta go," she says and then hangs up. I slump my shoulders. I feel sick. I feel so alone. I feel like puking again. I know my breakfast is coming back up. 

I stand up and look around for the bathroom in the room and dart for it. I throw up the toilet seat and release everything I ate this morning. I feel like shit and so alone. 

I want to talk to Grayson but he doesn't want to talk to me. I want to talk to Monica, but she basically hates me. I want to talk to Ethan, but I can't make things worse. I can't make Monica and Grayson hate me more. I have no one to talk to. I'm so lonely. 

I stand up and rinse my mouth out. I walk out of the bathroom and straight to the bed. I flop on the bed and cry into the pillow, falling asleep. 

I dream the same dream I did last night. I feel Grayson's lips on my stomach again, leaving a kiss. I feel the breath of his words: "She is going to be beautiful. Just like her mother"

I wake up freezing cold, hating that the dream is never going to come true. I am incapable of having children. It is a small chance. 

I cover myself up with the blanket, still really cold. I shiver and grab my phone. I see that I slept through the rest of the day and most of the night.

I have one text from Grayson that was sent 10 minutes ago. 

Grayson: Where are you?

I type a response. 

Lynn: I'm not sure

Read 5:57 a.m.

Grayson: What's that supposed to mean?

Grayson: Are you fucking with me?

I type another response, still freezing cold.

Lynn: No. I don't know where I am. I'll find my way back sometime

Read 5:59 a.m.

Grayson: When is sometime?

I get angry that suddenly he cares. I don't know why I am having such sudden mood swings. I need him and I need to talk to him but he goes from yelling at me to questioning me where I am, like he suddenly cares.

Lynn: And suddenly you care?

Read 6:00 a.m.

Grayson: All I want to know is if you are okay

Lynn: I'm fucking perfect, Grayson. I'm just sitting in some damn hotel room, alone. I am pretty sure I have a cold, too. But its fine. I'm fucking fine. I'm fine because my husband refuses to talk to me. I think I lost Monica. You both think that I am screwing Ethan because I have NO ONE to talk to so I go to him because my husband refuses to talk to me so yes. I am PERFECTLY FINE.

Read 6:03 a.m.

He doesn't respond. I go back to sleep dreaming the same dream again as Grayson's fake words drift through my head, making me cry: "She is going to be beautiful. Just like her mother"

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