37: Natural

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Lynn's P.O.V.

The doctor hands me a towel to wipe the stuff off of my stomach and starts talking. Grayson grabs my hand lightly, letting me know that he is there.

"So, last time you came in you were almost at 5 weeks. Now you are almost at 8 weeks. Since you are in the first trimester of your pregnancy, as a doctor I am obligated to tell you that the first trimester is the most dangerous. As I told you last time, you need to make sure that you are eating well and you should be gaining weight," he says.

Grayson looks at me as the doctor pauses.

"You also need to make sure that you are consuming enough nutrients and vitamins. That will help the baby grow and be stronger. I am also obligated to ask you if you know what kind of birth do you want to give," he states.

Grayson looks at me and I look at him. I look back at the doctor, "Can you explain a little bit more? What kinds of births are you talking about?"

He smiles, "I'm glad you asked. You can be put on an anesthetic, which will help with the pain while you are in labor. There are different types of anesthesia that you could choose from but the most popular is an epidural. The other option is giving a natural birth, which involves no anesthetic. I must warn you that a natural birth is painful." He looks over at Grayson and smiles and then back to me.

He speaks up again, "Of course, you do not have to make the decision now. If you do choose to do that natural birth, though, it is definitely best if you take a class to help you learn how to breathe and make sure that you can cope with the pain. It is still best no matter what to take this class anyway."

I look down at my stomach. You can barely notice that I am pregnant. If I didn't know myself, I wouldn't be able to tell. But because I know, I can see the slightest, smallest bump forming. A part of me wants to go through with a natural birth because I want to be able to experience it. Another part of me says to get the medication. Grayson and I should talk this over first.

"I am not really sure yet," I state honestly.

"That is completely fine!" The doctor exclaims, "So, again, since you are within the first 12 weeks, which is the first trimester, I am going to have you come back in about a week an a half, if that is fine with you. It will just be another checkup."

"Okay, thank you," Grayson says.

We sign out at the desk and walk outside to the vehicle. As Grayson starts the car, my mind roams to what has happened over the last three weeks. Grayson and I have somehow fixed everything and I don't think he is keeping anything from me, which is why it hurts that I am keeping something from him.

I still haven't talked to Monica and Grayson hasn't questioned it. I am scared to say anything about her because I know that if I do, I will end up telling Grayson what she said.

Half of me wants to forgive her and the other half wants to hate her for what she did. Yes, she came up with the plan but she didn't want to go through with it anymore. But when she was trying to apologize she wasn't even saying sorry, she was blaming the whole thing on Grayson. The only reason she stopped the plan was because she was catching feelings for Grayson. I am glad she backed off after she realized that but she never thought at the beginning of how her actions were going to play out and how it would affect her and my relationship. And he apology was complete shit.

I watch as we drive towards home, not wanting to think about Monica anymore. Grayson and I haven't done anything since that night of the dinner party. We have kissed but that is about it. We mostly have been just trying to spend time with each other and not fight and we haven't fought.

My mind drifts once again to the baby. The doctor basically told me that I need to start eating more than I have been because I haven't gained as much weight as I should be. I start thinking about the birthing thing we talked about. What would Grayson want?

I set my hand on his leg and his eyes drift from the road to me of a couple seconds and then back to the road.

"What are you thinking babygirl?" he asks me.

"I don't know. A lot, I guess," I say.

"One thing at a time. Talk to me," he says. He takes one hand off the wheel and grabs my hand that I set on his leg. He intertwines his fingers with mine and then brings my hand up to his mouth, leaving a small kiss and then setting our hands in between both of us.

"What kind of birth do you want me to go through?" I ask him.

He looks at me and his eyebrows knit together, "That isn't up to me at all. You are the one that is going to be pushing this baby out of you. You are the one that is going to be going through it. I am just going to be there supporting you and making sure you are comfortable and never leaving your side."

I smile at him, "But what do you want?"

"That isn't up to me!" he laughs, "What do you want?"

I smile, "I kinda want a natural birth, but at the same time, I want the pain to be numbed. I don't know yet. I think I want to to the natural birth, though."

He smiles back at me, "And I am here to support whatever decision you make." He kisses my hand again. He misses the exit and continues to drive past the apartment.

"Grayson, you missed the exit," I state.

"I know," he smiles.

"Where are we going," I ask.

"You deserve a little relaxation today. I can see that you have a lot going on inside that head. Almost like there is something that you are hiding," he says.

I look down.

"Is that correct? Are you hiding something from me?" he asks softly.

I nod my head.

"You wanna talk to me about it and tell me or do you want to wait," he asks. He is being super cute and lovely and I am here hiding the fact that Monica told me that she said she had feelings for my husband.

"I don't know how to start," I say.

"Just say it. Blurt it out," he says.

"Well," I say.

"Go on. Don't be scared, babe. I won't be mad," he says.

"Monica told me that the reason she didn't want to continue her plan that was going on was because she was starting to catch feelings for you," I blurt, finally happy after holding it in for 3 weeks.

There is complete silence and Grayson just continues to hold my hand.


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