23: Shower

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Please note that this chapter is a little bit shorter than usual. I will try to get another update up tomorrow. 


Lynn's P.O.V. 

Everything on my stomach empties out again as I throw up. I must have the damn stomach bug or something. I feel like shit. I can't stop coughing either. 

On the other hand, me and Grayson haven't really spoken since the other day, when I had my panic attack and even then we didn't really talk. He spends most of his time alone or with Monica. I chose to ignore it. 

I want to talk to him, but I want it to be when I am not puking my brains out or coughing up a lung. I flush the toilet and stand up. I wash my face off, feeling nasty. I decide that I might as well get a shower before I go back to laying down. 

I strip down until I am completely naked. I haven't shaved in almost a week. Ew. I go grab my razor and then I see my naked body in the full-length mirror. I stop and stare. 

I look at my legs, looking fatter than ever before. I look at my chubby stomach that looks smaller than before. I have been losing weight. Not on purpose, it just happens like that. I see my arms that don't have as much muscle as they should.

I look at my face. I see the darkness under my eyes from little sleep. I see the bags that are under my eyes, too, from the recent stress. I see the lines from where I used to non stop smile. They haven't faded. I see the fading, almost gone, bruise on my forehead.

The door opens and Grayson walks in, naked. I can't help but stare. I haven't seen him like this in maybe 2 weeks. I want to desperately just reach out and touch him. Not even sexually, just touch his face, his hair, his hand. Anything. I miss his touch.

He looks up and sees me. He looks directly back down and apologizes. He turns around to walk out of the bathroom. 

"Wait," I say, surprising myself. 

He turns around and looks at me, "Yeah?" 

"You can take a shower with me, you know. I don't mind," I say. I look down. I don't know why I am getting embarrassed. We have taken countless showers together. We have seen each other like this millions of times. 

He looks back down, "I can wait."

"Is Monica here?" I ask.

"No, she left last night," he says to the ground. 

The silence enters the room. 

"Why won't you look at me?" I ask quietly.

"I love you," he says making my heart stutter, "but I can't do this right now. I can't continue arguing with you."

He starts to walk out but I start talking, "I'm not trying to argue. I am trying to fix us. Please let me try, at least."

The silence draws out.

"I love you," I state.

The silence starts to hurt.

"I miss your touch. I miss your voice. I miss being able to talk to you. I just miss you, Grayson," I say.

"I'll wait to get my shower until your done," he says. He walks out of the bathroom. 


Grayson's P.O.V. 

I walk out of the bathroom. It feels like I am slowly killing myself this last week. Not talking to Lynn has driven me crazy but it's for the best. She will understand soon enough.

Both her and Ethan will understand. It is all apart of the plan. 


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