Adopted by Logan Paul (Completed)

Chapter 53

(Play when I say to^)
*WARNING* Suicidal thoughts and Actions! If you get triggered by this, please do not continue!

Emma's POV:

Hurt.

Betrayed.

Lost.

Numb.

These words all describe me. Emma Lee Paul. From the beginning, I didn't know who I was. What I was here for. I still don't. No one cared for me then, nor do they now. That's why I got hurt. I remember something my mom used to tell me: Don't let go Em, you're strong. Never give up the hope you have left. I'd always repeat that to myself. Now, it's been so long, I've lost all hope....

I try to think positively. I just have to wait until Logan gets home. I can get help. There's a phone number for that...right? I get on my phone and look up suicide hotline. How is someone that doesn't even know me, help me understand anything? I throw my phone on my bed, hyperventilating and not knowing what to do. I want it to stop. You know you can't. Think of Logan. He's not the problem. It's me. I'm the problem. Imagine the hurt you'll put everyone through. But what about me? I'm hurting more than they ever will. Think of Daniel. That's not helping. He betrayed me. He loves you. What? Are you kidding? There's good in him. Not anymore. Stay strong. I can't. Yes. You can. I can't. You can. I can't. I can't. I can't.

"I can't!" I yell aloud. I run down to the kitchen and grab a knife. I lock myself in the downstairs bathroom and stare at the knife. There's a solution. I can't do this. I've done so good. I can't just give that all up...I try to think of something that makes me happy. Singing. I wipe my tears and walk over to the piano in the back living room.

(Play video Now)

"Burn"-Hamilton

I saved every letter you wrote me
From the moment I read them
I knew you were mine
You said you were mine
I thought you were mine

Do you know what Angelica said
When we saw your first letter arrive?
She said

"Be careful with that one, love
He will do what it takes to survive."

You and your words flooded my senses
Your sentences left me defenseless
You built me palaces out of paragraphs
You built cathedrals
I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me
I'm searching and scanning for answers
In every line
For some kind of sign
And when you were mine
The world seemed to

Burn
Burn

You published the letters she wrote you
You told the whole world how you brought
This girl into our bed
In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives
Do you know what Angelica said
When she read what you'd done?
She said
"You have married an Icarus
He has flown too close to the sun."

You and your words, obsessed with your legacy...
Your sentences border on senseless
And you are paranoid in every paragraph
How they perceive you

You, you, you...

I'm erasing myself from the narrative
Let future historians wonder how Eliza
Reacted when you broke her heart
You have torn it all apart
I am watching it
Burn
Watching it burn
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place in our bed
They don't get to know what I said
I'm burning the memories
Burning the letters that might have redeemed you
You forfeit all rights to my heart
You forfeit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead
With only the memories
Of when you were mine
I hope that you burn

I upload it to my YouTube channel, not caring that I'm sobbing the whole time. It didn't work. There's nothing that will fix me. I can't go on. These will be my last thoughts.

As I make my way to the cupboard, my body weighted itself down. I know I shouldn't do this. But it's time...I write a quick letter to everyone that I love and open the cupboard.

I grab a bottle of pills and go to the bathroom. The knife is still there. I start shaking as the thought of what I'm about to do sinks in. I pop the lid open and lean my head back. This is it...My last thought. The last person I talked to was Jack. I wish it was Logan. The last person I hugged was Daniel. I want to feel his warmth again. But I can't. I never can again. This was a mistake. But I can't redo it now...goodbye.

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Word Count: 777