Regardless of size, putting your life on hold until you reach that perfect weight, does no one any good.
This will be my collection of poems reflecting on societies obsession with weight and size and the effect this has on us and how we can change...
(After initially having this as my first post, I felt the need to explain that this is not going to be a collection of negative rants about how society makes people, who struggle with their weight, feel. That's not the case at all. I want to mainly highlight the positive influences there are available, to help people find acceptance in their bodies. How that feels compared with negative reinforcement. The relief it can be to finally let go of all of that self doubt. However, I did feel that I first had to revisit my own personal experiences, both first hand and observational, where the issues first began, before there is even a weight problem and how the diet industry can often be the very cause and effect environment, some of us need to get away from. So whilst this post is obviously showing the detrimental effects of a size-ist culture, it's only part of the journey)
How it all began :
Kids can be insensitive, sometimes even cruel, Picking up on subtle differences, of fellow classmates in school, Because of this fact, everyone tries to blend in, No one wants to be different, to stand out from the crowd, To be the subject of jokes, cruel laughter all around.
Weight awareness can often begin, when that first name call is heard, It could be done as an innocent joke or just to be mean, That's irrelevant, you're now singled out.
You now notice your different in size, from almost everyone else, Not by much, but enough, to make the next few years feel like hell.
What began as a subtle difference in shape, will have a snowball effect, As you constantly try to eat less, so you can look like the rest, But it has the opposite effect, over the course of time, Each new diet ends in mysery, bringing more weight gain each time.
Yet you can't see the cause, of the issues you face, You blame yourself for not being able, to change your body to fit in, Desperately trying everything, to achieve the ultimate goal, of being thin.
You're now in a spiral of self hatred and shame, Constantly reminded that your size doesn't fit in, Magazines will show you, what you should aspire to be, Failing to highlight that their images, don't reflect the true shape of that body.
You'll have times where you'll get close, almost to where you think you should be, Only it's from strict calorie controlled diets and excessive exercising, you see, So the minute you try to return, to a normal routine, Back come the pounds with a few extra ones thrown in.
You'll begin to constantly feel, that you are failing at life, Despite the fact youre a loving mother and a loyal caring wife, You may have a degree, a wonderful career, that doesn't stop you from feeling a constant failure,
Society doesn't encourage you to measure your success, based on those things, Youre reminded daily that your weight, is outside of societies' norm, You find that most shops will no longer cater for your dress size, The feeling of utter despair, is overwhelming at times.
You're now plus size. Extreme. Most shops only sell up to size 18, The size you were only last month, Before a detox diet, promised that would change.
So now your size 20, how obscene, How truly hideous you must now be, Even although you're strong and exercise regularly, How can anyone love me, I don't even love myself.
STOP!!!!!!!!!
Its at this point I decided, enough was enough. No more comparing and shaming, It's time to end all of that.
H
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