Mr Urie loves me (brallon)

Pity party

Author's note- so I finally updated! *cheers* no one cares lol I'll just get on with the chapter now I hope you enjoy it :)

Dallon's p.o.v.

I wake up and my vision is gone again, much to my dismay.

I slip my legs out of bed and attempt to walk out of my bedroom, but I walk into the wall, hitting my head. I cry in frustration and pain, because I realise that I have relied on my eyesight for so much that I don't even know my own way out of my bedroom.

I like throwing myself pity parties.

My mother must have heard the racket, because the next thing I know she's got her arms around me, guiding me downstairs to get some breakfast.

"I know it's hard, sweetie, but we'll get through this. We'll get though it together," she says softly, as I hear her set a plate in front of me. "It's toast," she says.

I take a minute to actually locate the plate, but once I have the toast in my hand it actually isn't as difficult to eat it as I think it is.

"Thank you," I say. "For everything." She'd recently helped me change the settings on my phone to make it easier to use my phone if my vision does go away. It's all auditory, so I can hear the letters I type, and it helps a lot. (You should check it out, it's true!)

"You're welcome, sweetie, anything for you," Mum replies. "I'll just write down in your diary that you're blind today."

Dr Sivan had recently called us, advising us to use a diary to keep track of the days I have sight and the days I don't. This way it's easier to calculate the consistencies and likewise of my eyesight.

Mum helps me upstairs again. I really want to go to school, but I don't know how I'll manage since I can't see anything, and I can't remember so many things.

How am I meant to remember what I have learnt so far this year?

Even the thought of that makes my stomach churn with anxiety. They'll be people I don't remember too. I can't remember anything!

I spend most of my time lying in bed, listening to music. There's not a lot I can do, and I feel like I am being really dramatic since I can't see anything, but I don't know what else to do.

Brendon told me he is my maths teacher, right? So he is still in school, since I think it's only the morning time.
Josh is also in school, if that's the case.

Even though I don't remember what my relationship with Brendon was like before, apart from what he's told me, I still miss him.

He seems like a really great guy from what I can gather. He's funny, cute - even though I might not physically see him again, I can remember what he looks like - kind, and just the best boyfriend I could have right now.

Sometimes I wonder off a bit further, and I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

Maybe we have kissed before. We probably have, since we've been going out for a few months now, so it would be unnatural if we hadn't, I guess. (I don't know I've never been in a relationship lol it's sad)

Suddenly I freeze. What if we've...slept together?!

I won't have remembered it!

I can't see myself being a top, since Brendon seems more confident than I am, though I've heard being a bottom is painful, from Josh's experience, so that's something I'm maybe glad to forget if we did do it. (Also Josh is a bottom fight me)

Just as I think this, I hear my bedroom door open. At first I think it is Mum, but by the way their feet stomp slightly on the ground, I can tell their feet are too heavy to be Mum's.

"Hey, Dallon, you weren't at school today." It's Brendon.

"Yeah," I say sheepishly. "I don't think I'd be able to go since you know, I can't see." I laugh somewhat bitterly. "I also wouldn't know half of what is being said."

"You still can't remember things?" Brendon asks.

I shrug in response. "Not really."

Brendon must be staring at me, because I can sense being watched, even if I can't see him.

"You're still in your pyjamas?" He asks. I can practically hear his smile as he talks.

"I mean, I don't trust my memory enough to be able to locate my clothes," I say. "And asking my mum for help is maybe not the best idea."

"I could dress you," Brendon says.

"Really?" I feel a blush rising to my cheeks.

"Yeah! I can pick your outfit!" Brendon says, helping me to my feet and pulling me off my bed.

He leads me over to my wardrobe and I can hear him looking through my clothes, assumedly looking for something he thinks I'll look good in.

I hear him take a few things out, and I feel him tugging at my pyjama shirt to take it off. I raise my arms to let him.
He slips a thin jumper over my head and I pull it down over my arms. 

I feel Brendon pulling my pyjama bottoms down to my feet. I feel extremely grateful right now, remembering my dilemma from last night as to whether I should wear boxers in bed or not. I blush bright red.

"I know it's not very hygienic, but we don't have to change my boxers," I offer.

"Whatever you're happy with, Dallon," Brendon replies, before lifting one of my legs to put the jean leg on. He repeats for the other leg and I pull them up to my waist.

Brendon grabs a belt and wraps it around my waist, buckling it at the front.

"There! You're all ready! Even though we aren't going anywhere," Brendon says. "You look gorgeous. I'm going to take a picture so I can show you how good you look when your vision returns."

There's a slight pause. "If my sight returns," I say.

That's when I really realise.

I may never see again.