5H Short Story: Lauren

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Interviewer: I'm *insert generic ass name here because I'm a lazy fuck* and I'm here with Fifth Harmony's very own, Lauren...J-Jar-Jack-Jumanji?

Lauren: *stale face* 'Jauregui', you uncultured swine

Interviewer: *chuckles nervously* I'm sorry, I'm not good with names

Lauren: *still has a stale face* Let's do this interview...American Horror Story coming on at 6

Interviewer: Okay, let's get with it

Lauren: Whatevs

Interviewer: How do you describe yourself?

Lauren: With words

Interviewer:...uh, OK? How do you feel when you're on stage?

Lauren: Hot and sticky

Interviewer: Uh, favorite song?

Lauren: Whatever's on my Spotify playlist

Interviewer: Favorite thing to do?

Lauren: Dinah and Ma- I mean, watch Netflix

Interviewer: Finish the phrase, "I hate it when boys think-"

Lauren: I'm straight

Interviewer: Favorite place to be?

Lauren: My bed...watching AHS...eating cereal

Interviewer: Ariana or Selena Gomez

Lauren: Are you serious? Easy...Lauren Jauregui

Interviewer: Uh, that wasn't-

Lauren: Next question please

Interviewer: Things you say a lot

Lauren: "Fuck" "Uncultured swine" "Fuck Trump" "Camz, gimme back my ring pop" "Give me a bagel" "Dinah, stop eating my fucking mangoes, you overgrown sperm cell"

Interviewer: O...Kay? Last question, 5SOS or The Vamps?

Lauren: *glares* Imma slap you

Interviewer: Okay! That's all for today,guys! I'm *whatever tf name you want* and I'll see you next week!

Lauren: No, seriously, imma slap you

Interviewer: *gulps*

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Teehee...who's next? Camila, Ally, Mani, or Dinah?

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