Star Wars Imagines

The Greatest Honor(Kylo Ren)

You pulled on your jumpsuit in your bedroom. Your roommate was gone, and you were alone. You pulled your still wet hair into a ponytail, and put on most of your uniform; gauntlets, life support machine, and belt. You tucked your blaster in its sheath, just in case. Just as you were about to put your helmet onto your head, there was a knock on your door. You crossed over to the door and opened it, smiling. "Hey, Kylo," you said. He didn't smile down at you and kiss you like he usually did. Instead, he pulled you into the room and shut the door behind him. Kylo Ren hugged you tightly. "Kylo, what's going on," you asked, worried.

"I love you," he whispered. "I never tell you, but I love you." You hugged him, closing your eyes as a tear slid down your cheek.

"I love you, too," you said softly. Kylo took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Stay here," he whispered. "Don't fight on Crait." You frowned, pulling away from Kylo Ren enough to look into his eyes.

"Why," you asked. Kylo stared at you, tears in his beautiful brown eyes.

"I don't want to lose you," he said. "I worry about you. Every time I see a TIE fighter, I worry that you're on it. I worry that it'll crash, that you'll die. I couldn't bear it if you did." You sighed.

"You're also worried about him, aren't you?" Kylo Ren didn't answer, and you sighed. "Kylo--"

"Don't do that," he sighed. "Your brother--"

"Is a traitor. I know." You sighed and stared at the ground. "I thought he was just scared. I thought my brother would never betray the First Order, would never abandon me. I thought he would come to his senses eventually, and come back. When I heard he had manipulated Captain Phasma into lowering the shields, and had helped the scavenger and Chewbacca escape, I didn't want to believe it. I kept telling myself he was just scared. Learning he wasn't going to return, that he had really abandoned me, was like a slap to the face." You began to tremble. "I thought they were going to kill him, but I know he escaped, Kylo. And I have to fight him now--" You burst into tears. Kylo Ren hugged you to his chest. He stroked your hair as you sobbed into his shirt.

"Shh," he cooed. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," you said through your tears.

"Yes, it is. You don't have to go to Crait--"

"Yes, I do! I have to fight for the First Order, Kylo. It's what I'm here for." Kylo Ren sighed.

"Alright," he said. Kylo Ren hesitated, then asked, "Do you still love him?" You smiled at your boyfriend.

"Of course," you answered. "He's my brother." You kissed Kylo Ren on the cheek and pulled your helmet on.

"Let's go," you said. "We've got a battle to fight." Kylo Ren stared at you.

"There's no going back after this," he said softly. "Do you still want to fight?" You laughed.

"The point of no return was a long time ago. I'm going to help win this war."

***

You stared at the ships on the ground. From in your TIE fighter, they all looked like ants. They were firing up the battering ram. The ships peeled off, all except for one. Your breath caught in your throat. That was one of two people. Either Dameron, or Finn. Either way, flying straight toward the battering ram was suicide. You used your binoculars to see who was in the ship. It was Finn. You started to fly to him, but then a Resistance ship crashed into his. You hovered over them for a few seconds. Finn hopped out of his ship, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Finn was okay. Time to get back to work. "(Y/N), are you alright?" Kylo Ren's voice said over the radio in your TIE fighter. "I just saw a TIE blow up." You rolled your eyes under your mask.

"I'm fine, Supreme Leader," you said.

"Why are we so formal?"

"Radio correspondence. People, cough, General Hux, cough, could be listening."

"Another TIE exploded--"

"Not mine!"

"Good. (Y/N)--"

"I'M FINE, KYLO! STOP CHECKING IN EVERY TIME A TIE FIGHTER EXPLODES!" Kylo Ren was silent. You took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," you said. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"I'm really worried about you, (Y/N). I love you."

"I love you, too. But I've got this. You don't need to worry." With that, you turned your attention back to the battle. You gasped when you saw a TIE moving into position to shoot Finn. You started to panic. You had a choice. Either betray the First Order and save your brother, or let Finn die and live with it for the rest of your life. There was no time to think about it. You turned your ship toward the other TIE and flew straight at it, at top speed. "Supreme Leader," you said over the radio. "Kylo. Fighting for you, loving you, was the greatest honor I can imagine. I'm sorry things had to end this way. I love you, and I'll see you in a better place."

"(Y/N), are you crazy? What are you doing? Are you--" You turned off your radio. When your TIE fighter crashed into the other TIE, you didn't cry. You closed your eyes and smiled. Both TIE's exploded. The other pilot died instantly, but you lived. You began to fall toward the ground, but you weren't afraid. There was something protecting you as you, and you knew everything would be alright.

Whatever it was lost control when you were six feet off the ground. You fell to the ground, and your right arm and left leg went numb. You tried to sit up. Pain flared up your side and down your left arm, and you laid back down. You looked around, and you saw Finn running toward you. You smiled at him as he tore your helmet off. "Hey, Rebel Scum," you greeted him. He stared down at you, fear, anger, relief, and love in his eyes, all at the same time.

"That was stupid," he said.

"I know." Finn sighed.

"You could have died, (Y/N)."

"I know." Finn rolled his eyes, and smiled a little.

"I missed you."

"I know."

"Everything's going to be alright."

"I know."

"It's really annoying when you just say 'I know' over and over again like that."

"I know." You giggled as Finn glared at you.

"Can you walk," he asked.

"I don't want to go to the Resistance base."

"Can you walk?"

"I think my leg's broken. Just leave me here."

"And let you die? No."

"I'd rather die than go to the Resistance base."

"I know."

"I have a boyfriend in the First Order."

"I know."

"It's not fun when you do it."

"I know." You rolled your eyes. Finn grabbed your left arm and hauled you to your feet. Your body protested as your weight was shifted to your right foot. You fought Finn as he struggled to get you and the girl who crashed her ship into his into the Resistance base. Once he set you on the floor, you tried to go to the exit, but Finn grabbed you and poured some liquid into your mouth. You swallowed it, and you passed out.