Secret For The Mad(Kylo Ren)

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You were laying on your back in a field with Ben. You both had your eyes closed and were soaking in the sun. You were really only half awake. You inched your fingers closer to where you felt Ben's might be. "(Y/N)?" His voice was soft and warm like the grass that tickled your cheek.

"Mm?"

"Do you ever think that Luke might be wrong?"

You woke up then. Your head hurt and your lip was swollen. Your hands were cuffed to the chair. Right, you thought. This happened. You discreetly tried to use the Force to undo the restraints, and when that didn't work, you tried to activate the help beacon Leia gave you when you went on this mission.

"It's no use," a low, metalic voice said. "You can't escape." You froze. You recognized that voice, but you couldn't quite place where you'd heard it. You turned your head to see Kylo Ren watching you. "It's no use trying." You glared at him. He stood and walked over to you. "What did they do to you," he asked. He took off a glove and moved his hand toward you. You leaned as far away as you could, but it was no use. As soon as his fingers touched your face, everything went dark. Then, the world slowly came into focus again.

You were laying on your back in a field with Ben. You both had your eyes closed and were soaking in the sun. You were really only half awake. You inched your fingers closer to where you felt Ben's might be. "(Y/N)?" His voice was soft and warm like the grass that tickled your cheek.

"Mm?"

"Do you ever think that Luke might be wrong?" You sat up quickly and looked down at him.

"Wrong about what?" Ben hesitated.

"I don't know, exactly. Just.... The Jedi. My parents. Everything I guess." You sighed.

"Ben....." He sat up too, now. "Luke is trying to resurrect the protectors of the galaxy. The Jedi weren't perfect, sure, but at least they tried to be good. The Sith just wanted to take over everything." Ben gently caressed your cheek.

"It was just a thought," he whispered, kissing you.

Suddenly, the world was on fire. Smoke was burning your eyes and lungs. "Ben," you screamed. You screamed and screamed, searching for him, until finally someone dragged you out of the temple and dropped you on the grass. You didn't get a good look at their face, but they felt dark and twisted, like you used to know them, but they changed.

You didn't find Ben that night, or any night after that. One day, you just realized he was dead, and it hurt, and hurt, and hurt.

You eased back into the real world, tears in your eyes. Kylo Ren was staring at you. "You lost someone close to you," he said. "Someone you loved."

"Don't pretend you care," you whispered. Kylo Ren walked over to you. "Don't come closer." He ignored her, sitting beside you. He took off his gloves and brushed away your tears.

"I have a secret for you," he whispered. "All you have to do is give yourself time, and someday the pain will stop." You glared at him, desperate to get away.

"Who are you?" He just shook his head.

"You won't believe me. But I get it. What you're dealing with. I've burned my past to the ground, and I don't regret it." He gently laced his fingers through yours.

A boy who looked just like Ben was laying in a bed some where cold and dark, where the walls were made of metal. He was crying, holding a holo of a younger version of himself and you. You were staring at a younger, happier version of your best friend and yourself.

The boy in the bed was Ben. Ben, Who had died years ago. He sat up and walked into a small kitchen. He grabbed a pack of instant noodles and began heating water. He sat down at the table when he finished cooking and began to talk to the holo while he ate.

Tears were leaking down your face. Kylo Ren took off his mask. "I thought you were dead," you whispered.

"I know."

"Why?" Ben just shook his head. There were tears on his face, too, but not as many as on yours. "There are so many of us that would have listened to you. They might not have gotten it, but I loved you so much--" Your entire body was shaking. Ben placed a kiss on your forehead.

"It'll all make sense again, I promise. All the little things you'll see and experience will get you through each night, until you can honestly say that you're okay." You nodded and wiped away your tears. Ben opened the restraints.

"There's an escape pod two floors down. Just turn left when you get there and go straight." You nodded and hugged Ben.

"I love you," you said. He patted your back.

"Take care of yourself, (Y/N)." You nodded.

"Make sure you do the same." You left, and for the first time in a long time, you didn't regret a thing.

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