Thorn (n.h)

(40)

AN: Starting a new thing of songs for the chapters! This chapter is: "Amnesia" by 5SOS and "Stay with Me" by Sam Smith.

...

She looks appalled, shocked and stunned. Her mouth hangs agape as I hold the ring up to her.

"Come on Rose, say something," I plead and she continues to look at me, her eyebrows cinching together and her chest heaving.

"No," she finally says. She says it like I'm crazy, like I just asked her to jump off a cliff with a breaking tether and only rocks at the bottom. Which I'm sure was no different than what I'm asking of her.

"No, no, you're insane!" She says regaining herself, "why on earth would I ever marry you?" Her nose scrunches up in disgust and I feel my heart drop into my stomach.

"You always say you feel bad leaving me alone, the way I am, you're leaving me right now and I'm giving you an option to stay with me. Why won't you take it?"

"Haven't you been listening to a single thing I've said tonight, or over the past few days for that matter?" I remain silent and she continues, "you're so hard to like, how could I possibly marry you? You run off when you're not pleased and get wasted and end up in a fight and come home battered and bruised! You, you break every fucking thing in the house sometimes and we have to go out an replace everything, you are a self centered, egotistical," she pauses as her rage fills her up, "asshole!"

By now she's grabbing hold of her bags and making a B line straight for the front door. I race ahead, the ring secured in my pocket and block her from the door.

"I'm hard to live with? Wake up Rose, you push me and fuck with my head and threaten to leave every other day, I never know what to expect with you!"

"You never know what to expect with me? Me Niall? I never know if you'll come home drunk or high or if you'll ever come home at all!" I stay quiet now, knowing she is right. I watch her face and see her mascara running down her cheeks, surely stinging her eyes but she was paying no mind to it.

"I can't do this with you anymore. I can't play with roller coaster with you, you are so God dammed stubborn and a gigantic asshole," she sighs and I can see her shaking, holding back tears. "I need to go home, clear my thoughts."

"But you're coming back," I say leaning against the door to ensure she didn't slip out.

"I don't know," she shrugs, her arms weighted down from the bags. "I don't know if I can."

I bite my lip and cross my arms over my chest, no pain from the accident anymore, none I could feel anyway, "what am I going to do if I have...a...you know, seizure," I cringe at my use of the word having never used it myself.

Rose sighs and closes her eyes, "call 911 when it passes," she answers calmer than I'd expected. She brushes past me and grabs the doorknob clumsily, "excuse me," she whispers and I oblige.

She exits the apartment and I watch her in dumbfounded awe. My mind is utterly blank, I can't think of a single thing to yell as she disappears down the hall. My head spins as I close the door slowly, leaning my forehead against it.

"Fuck," I whisper and softly pound my fist on the door. I repeat the profanity about a thousand times and pound my fist harder and harder on the wood. Tears escape my eyes but I pay no mind to them as I turn to face the living room. I stomp over to the couch and kick it, a warm up.

I walked over a hundred miles to see her and she leaves me.

A lamp crashes to the floor.

Shes just like the rest. Mom, June, Greg, my own father.

Another lamp and the glass topped coffee table.