Thorn (n.h)

XLII

Chapter Songs: "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" -Poison "Beth" -KISS "My Eyes Adored You" -Frankie Valli "Hurt" -Johnny Cash

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Eventually Niall woke up, not for long but long enough to throw everyone out except for me. I sat on the edge of his bed and held onto his arm.

"You've been crying," Niall whispers and holds my cheek.

"Well of course," I pause to bite back tears but never finish what I want to say. You almost killed yourself, you have killed yourself.

"My own fault," his arm drops from my face and makes a dull thud on the mattress.

"You were left alone on the floor for twelve hours before anyone called," my voice breaks and a lone tear escapes.

"I'm not surprised honestly, can't say I'm happy that anyone even called."

"Niall, please," I beg and feel my heart breaking even more than it was.

"Don't lie to yourself, you hate me and you always have. You're gonna be thrilled to not have to deal with me anymore," Niall's head rests on his pillow.

"I do love you, I never lied when I said it and honest to God I'm always going to love you," I explain and he looks at me angrily.

"Stop lying to me."

"Stop trying to make me fight you. I'm not going to, this could be the," my voice hitches and I feel tears begin to choke me up.

"Rose," his voice is soft as he pulls me into his chest. "Don't you know I'm not going anywhere?"

Tears fall unexpectedly as I grip his hospital gown.

"Don't you know by now I don't give up that easy?"

"You've gone and killed yourself, you're hanging on by a thread," I sit up with tears filling up my eyes.

"Rose, what can I do?"

"Stay here," I sob and hold his hand, "I can't possibly pack up your things or keep anything that's yours when you go. I can't possibly look at anyone else and not think of you and all your stupid tattoos," the tears are rolling down my cheeks by now, "I can't possibly spend a day without finding something that reminds me of you."

"Rose, I've done this to myself."

"All because I wouldn't marry you," I wipe my cheeks but the tears keep rolling. "If I'd of said yes this wouldn't be happening."

"It was inevitable," Niall sighs and lays back on the bed.

"Please," I say and slam my fist on the bed, "please don't go," my chest heaves up and down as I beg, "you can't leave me like this."

"You stop this," Niall says sitting up once more and holding my face, "because I'm not going anywhere, I'm always going to be with you anyway," he pokes my chest, "right there. I'll be with you right there."

Niall smiles and it breaks my heart further, he could rip it out and take a match to my heart and it would feel better than this.

"Why'd you do this to me? I need you and you need me," I say and see his eyes bounce, exhaustion I'm sure.

"It's just my stupidity really, I'm stupid and I always have been," he shrugs and continues to hold my face, "I'm stupid and stubborn."

"Niall," my lip quivers before I roll them in, "don't leave."

"When I'm gone you can have it all, my empire of dirt. I've let you down enough times, I've made you hurt enough."

"Don't quote Johnny Cash," I smile without meaning it and wipe my eyes.