I Want To Be With You...Everywhere

Chapter 61: Two Pages Of News

Lindsey almost started crying at the sight of his daughter. All he wanted to do was hug her and tell her how sorry he was and to tell her how much he loved her.

"Hi daddy," she said with slight hesitation. She didn't know if he'd be mad at her or anything. The last time she had left, was when she ran off with Osmond the first time and she was in big trouble. She wouldn't be in trouble now, but hatred was what she worried for.

"How is TeeDee?" Barbara asked---cutting into the silence that took over.

"She's um..." he cleared his throat, averting the strong eye contact he and his daughter held. "She's been asleep... may be up now I've been wandering," he looked down at the baby. "Do you wanna hold him?" he asked Barbara.

"Oh, of course---" she took a couple steps forward to grasp the baby. "We'll see TeeDee and if not we'll be back," she gestured to her husband to follow.

Jess did so and left the father and daughter in their own silence.

"How are you?" Lindsey asked not looking at her in the eyes but above her.

She kind of shrugged. "I mean, I miss you guys a lot and it's not even been a month," she admitted. "Probably wasn't enough time to be gone, but I wasn't gonna miss out on seeing my little brother."

Lindsey neared her and was gonna ask to talk, but he really didn't know what to do. He didn't have the right to yell at her because, she had run off and he didn't know how to apologize for what he did.

"Can you please say something?" she let tears descend down from her eyes.

They were on two different pages when it came down to the situation.

"What do you want me to say?" he questioned, just about to cry himself. He hated seeing either of his girls crying and the fact that he caused some of those tears killed him.

"Do you hate me?" she asked.

"What?" he was almost appalled by her asking. He---himself, knew he could never hate any of his children. "Why would you think that?" he asked softly.

"Because, I left without a word to you. I didn't face you myself. I sent Simona to get my things and to pick up Rhiannon. I left you and mom at a bad time. I left you to worry and I know I shouldn't have with mom pregnant. Aren't you mad or hurt that I left the day after I turned eighteen?"

"I could never hate you," he said easily. "I was sad that you left and it was because of me and if I'm honest I thought you would have disowned me."

"What? why would I do that?" she asked through a scoff of tears. She sniffled as she inched towards him.

He draped his arms around her and they both seated side by side  to each other. "I didn't mean to say any of those things, honey. I- I accidentally read part of your journal and that is how I found out," he stuttered. "I know, you're probably thinking: how does someone accidentally read something? but I can assure it was, even if you don't believe me. I would never try to invade the little bit of privacy you had and I would never--"

"Dad," she said in the midst of his rambling to get his attention.

"What?" he looked at her with tired eyes. He clearly hadn't slept from all of his excitement of the new baby. But in general he was tired. Sometimes at night he would think what his daughter was doing or what she was thinking and where she was at. Sometimes he would cry for her leaving because, of his stupid mistake. Not only was reading the journal a mistake, but the drinking was also. The last time Lindsey had drank so much was the night he had found out about the baby and the night Ameera had run off from home. The last months he'd been totally free of alcohol along with Stevie of course. So the alcohol he was knocking back at her party hit him quick.