He sighs before lifting me up and sitting me down on the railing:
(like this)
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"I figured it out. You know Mikey and I have some of the same friends, right?"
I shake my head, "I knew that you knew each other somehow, but I didn't know that."
"That's actually not how we know each other... But yeah, we're kind of in the same circle of friends. And they talk a lot about... you and Mikey," he explains.
"What do they say?"
He sighs, "A lot. But from what I gathered, you have feelings for him right?"
This is great. The last thing I wanted was Chance thinking that I was using him to get over Mikey and now that's probably exactly what he's thinking.
I wanted to lie and deny everything but I knew that he already knew the real truth. There's no telling what he's heard from Mikey's friends, so he might as well hear this from me.
"You said I could talk to you about anything?"
He nods so I continue, "Well I hope this doesn't ruin everything... I've had feelings for Mikey since the seventh grade. Strong feelings. And nothing has ever happened between us - well until yesterday... he tried to kiss me to prove a point and we ended up fighting. That's what was distracting me. But I've already told myself that I need to move on and that's what I'm doing. Mikey will never feel the same way about me, and honestly he has so many girls already wrapped around his finger. I can't be one of those anymore. So there it is... I understand if you feel like I'm using you, but I'm not. I really like you Chance."
"I like you too, I have since we met in the coffee shop that day. But I have to tell you something," he sighs.
"What is it?" I have a bad feeling about what I'm about to hear.
"I kind of already knew who you were when we met... I'm friends with Michael, and I asked him not to tell you. I feel really bad about it but I wanted to see if you liked me for me before I told you I was friends with him and that I knew about Mikey..."
I stare at him as I try to process this information. So basically, it sounds like he knows everything about me - and now I feel like I know nothing about him.
"Alanna, I'm really sorry for not telling you. I was going to tell you on our last date but it didn't feel like the right time," he tells me.
"I don't know what to say... There's no telling what you've heard about me," I say quietly.
"Nothing bad, I swear. Well-" he pauses so I look at him so he'll continue, "- it's just that some of Mikey's friends aren't... very nice."
Which is something I already knew.
"Oh... I see," I really don't know what to say. At this point I just wanted to go home. Even though I had a nice time on this date with Chance, I just wasn't feeling it anymore.
I just wish I knew all of this before because now I have a million questions running through my head.
"I really am sorry. You said Mikey tried to kiss you to prove a point? Why?" he asks.
It's the last thing I want to talk about right now but he deserves to know. I don't want him feeling like I do right now.
"He- he said he wanted to show me 'how easy it should be to kiss me'."
Chance steps back with his eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his face, "Wait - it has to do with me, doesn't it? He used that to try and make a move on you?"
I shrug, "I don't know. He clearly wasn't thinking straight. And he's been going through a lot lately, not that it excuses it."
"Alanna, I haven't kissed you because I didn't think you were ready. Not because I don't like you. That's why I make how I feel about you clear at the end of every date," Chance says as he now stands between my legs with his hands resting on my waist.
"Right now I'm not sure what I'm ready for," I honestly say before leaning my head on his chest.
"I feel like I ruined our date by telling you all of this. I just wanted you to know the truth because... I'm falling for you. And it scares me knowing that you already feel that way about another guy."
I stay quiet because once again, I don't know what to say. I don't know how I feel or how I should feel.
I know that Chance makes me happy. And I know I have feelings for him. But are they genuine or am I forcing myself into feeling something so that I'll move on from Mikey?
(A/N: I wrote this the other day and didn't publish it because I don't like this chapter. I wanted to start over and rewrite the whole thing but I'm lazy. Soooo... here it is lol.
If I still don't like it, I might delete it and start again. Hopefully it doesn't come to that hehe.
- How do you feel about the bombshell Chance dropped? He already knew who she was. Uh oh.
- And do you think Alanna should have kept some of her feelings to herself? Or do you think being completely open with Chance was a good thing?
Btw I'll be publishing a new Michael fanfic soon. I literally wrote it in one day. A whole 15 chapters in one day.)
