I WISH YOU LOVED ME, mikey jimenez; MKY

35.

•Alanna•

Monday morning came way too quickly. I knew that it would be absolute hell walking down the school hallways after what went down at the party. Even though Olivia invited lots of people from other schools, that didn't mean the news wouldn't spread any slower.

I didn't realize how bad it was going to be though...

Once again, my locker seems to be the school bulletin board. Written in spray paint was the word 'slut' along with other words that I'd rather not mention.

All eyes were on me as I walked over to my locker and got my things out of it. I could hear faint whispers from around me but I tried my best to ignore it. Just a few more months and I'd be out of here for good.

I hear someone stop behind me and turn to see Reyna. I roll my eyes, "What do you want?"

She fakes a laugh, "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You know according to the rumors, there might be another pregnant slut walking around the halls soon. But it wouldn't surprise me if you were already knocked up. Tell me, who's better in bed- Mikey, Chance, or Michael?"

I let out a snort and slam my locker shut, "I wouldn't know."

"There's no point in lying anymore. We all know who you are now."

"You know what, Reyna? I think it's time everyone finds out just how jealous and pathetic you are. You only hate me because I have what you never will: actual friends. I have people who care about me and you would too if you weren't such a bitch. You turned your back on the only people who ever gave a shit about you. And for what? Popularity? Because you were mad that your crush didn't like you back?" I snap at her.

Her smug look drops and I continue, "You were always a terrible friend but I never gave up on you. All those time where you'd spread rumors about me or tell my secrets, and I still kept you in my life. You'll never find anyone like that again. As hard as you try to pretend, you're just a petty insecure bitch. So maybe you should work on fixing that instead of sticking your nose in everyone's business."

The entire hall was silent, except for the two of us arguing and a few 'ooh's'. Reyna's eyes dart around her and I see her panic because the whole school know's I just said the truth. And she knows it too.

Instead of retaliating, she runs off with tears streaming down her face. What a hypocrite. She can dish it out but can't take the same type of response.

I shrug off all of the stares and make my way to my first class, meeting Mikey somewhere in the middle.

"Damn, it's about time you stood up for yourself," he says with a smirk.

"I'm fed up with it all. I can't wait to graduate and leave this town."

He frowns but doesn't say anything as we reach the classroom.

"Right... I'll see you later on?"

I nod and see Michael by his locker and wave shyly. I didn't want things to feel this awkward but I guess it was to be expected. He waves back as I enter the classroom and take a seat in the back. Once again, people turned to stare but I could care less at this point. It is what it is.

...

After school, I told Mikey I would pick up some pizza and then meet him back at his house. I wish that I wouldn't have thought of that because someone else decided to order pizza too...

That someone being the one person I was trying to keep my distance from for a little while...

He was turning to leave and immediately stopped once he saw me in line behind him. The smile that was previously on his face was completely gone the second we made eye contact.

He pauses for a few seconds before trying to leave, pretending that he didn't even see me there. I groan and make the rapid decision to follow out after him.

"Chance," I call out but he's speed walking, almost sprinting to get away from me.

Before he can pull out the parking lot, I jump into the passenger's side of his car. He throws his head back against the headrest with an exaggerated sigh.

"Please get out of my car."

I shake my head, "We need to talk. I know you hate me but-"

"Hate you?" he scoffs, "Alanna, I wish I could hate you. If I hated you, it wouldn't hurt this fucking bad. But you and I both know that I've been trying to tell you for ages now that I love you. And not some bullshit crush type of love, but an 'I pictured a future with you' type of love."

The guilt starts to creep back up as I desperately try to explain myself, "Chance..."

He shakes his head, "Don't, okay? It's not worth it anymore. I kept telling myself that you'd eventually feel the same way. I was okay with being second place for a little while. But third place? I won't do that, I refuse to do that."

"You were never third place. There are no places, I'm not the type of girl who ranks or whatever that even means," I defend.

"Come on, Alanna. Stop denying it. No matter how hard you tried, it was always going to be Mikey. We were stupid to think otherwise. But I never saw this coming..."

I try to think of something to say but fall short, again... so he keeps talking, "When I walked up those stairs and saw Marcus looking into the room with surprise written all over his face. I knew something was wrong. My immediate thought was 'she's in there with M-Mikey'."

His voice cracks, which breaks my heart. I never wanted to hurt him but look where we're at.

"And then it turned out to be Michael and I had no idea what to think. I don't think you realize how close me and Mike are. I've known him for years. I found it kind of odd how he talked about you so much, but once he explained it off as he was trying to hook us up... I believed him. I must be the idiot here, huh?" he looks away from me and down at his hands that were in his lap.

I frown, "I didn't know. I didn't even know you guys knew each other until a couple of months ago. I didn't do this on purpose, and I hope you know that."

"I do... but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've been hurt twice by the only two girls I've ever loved like this. Is it me?"

I shake my head, "Of course not. Listen to me," he looks up at me, "You deserve so much, Chance. And I don't know why this happened- but maybe this was the universe's way of telling you that you shouldn't settle for less than what you deserve. You deserve better than someone who has no idea what she wants."

He chuckles sadly, "No, Alanna. You know exactly what you want, you're just too scared to go after him."

And I knew what he meant by that... and he was right.