War Torn

Chapter 72

Felicity pov
I held onto Harry's arm as we walked to attend the last church service of the day before returning to Sandringham for lunch.

We went into a little parlor and our children came in. Nanny Silvia gave Sofia to me.

"How are you doing, Felicity?" Princess Anne asked.

I swallowed my pride and answered the question.
"I'm alright." I said as I gritted my teeth. The entire family was here.

"We Heard you were hospitalized last week. We didn't hear why." Peter said.

"Ya, what happened, Felicity?" Beatrice asked as Harry took my hand and tried to get me to relax my fist.

"What happened?" Phillip asked.

"She was hospitalized, Dad." Charles yelled.

"What happened?" Phillip asked.

I stood up that was it. I had stuff on my chest and I needed to get off.

"you want to know what happened to me last week?" I stood as I addressed the rest of the royal family.

"I tried to kill myself twice." I pushed up my sleeves and took the bandages off.

"I slit my wrists in the bathtub and nearly bled out. And probably would have if Harry hadn't woken me from my unconscious state and told me to come to bed. I then made it worse by visiting Trystan who for the last year has been sending me letters and I've been stealing them from Kensington's mail room and reading them in secret while cutting my stump because the letters Trystan sent made me so numb that I felt nothing and I needed to feel something. Because I couldn't even feel the love my Husband was showering me with." I said as tears streamed down my face as I ranted about my mental health.

"And during our visit at the prison. He told me to finish the job so I did. The next day I took a hundred anti depressants. And you want to know what I realized just before I blacked out?" I stopped wanting someone to respond.

"What did you realize?" Will asked.

"I realized I didn't want to go." I looked at the floor. "I realized that my death would be a grenade. I would go off and I'd disappear but the shrapnel and the sure force of the blast would hurt the people who love me. But even though the blast didn't kill me, it still hurt the people around me. I hurt Harry, and I saw that it even hurt Will because it reminded them both of Diana. And although I may have denied being like her last week. Maybe her and I don't have that many differences." I Said as I looked over at Harry and my children.

Dane came over to me and hugged my leg.

"I'm going to get help. I'm leaving after the new year." I Said as I picked Dane up. He looked at my wrist and kissed it.

"Kisses always help." He Smiled.

"I love your inocente." I said then kissed his head. I went back and I sat down with Harry.

"When I was younger, I used to always watch my mum to see what she would do. Because I didn't know what was going on behind her closed doors." Will said. I Nodded.

"I think what started all of this comparison of me and Diana was our car crash in Paris." I said.

"That was not a fun night." Harry said.

"No it wasn't, getting a call in the middle of the night saying you and Harry were in a car accident in the same tunnel. That was frightening. I didn't want to loose Harry the same way we lost his mother." Charles said. I nodded.

"I need some fresh air." I Said.

"Make sure someone goes with you." Harry said.

"I'm aware I'm not to be left alone." I Said as Milo followed me.

Kenton went outside with me. I had a cup of Lady Grey and I was slowly sipping it as I stared at the west lawn. I stood up with the travel mug in my hands.

"Do you want to go inside?" Kenton asked.

I didn't respond. I still had some tension stored up inside myself. I walked out to the grass.

"Felicity?" Kenton asked.

I threw the mug across the grass. Then my phone then my shoes. I ripped the hairpins and clips out pulling locks of hair out. I screamed in anger as I ran to the gravel and grabbed rocks and threw them across the grass.

"Felicity!" Kenton grabbed on to me and tried to calm me but I soaked him in the jaw and he went down.

I then took off running across the lawn towards the Walled Garden. Milo barking and chasing after me.

Harry pov
We sat in silence after Felicity's outbreak.

"I should have asked her is she was alright. I should have told her she could open up to me. I saw the signs but I did nothing." I Said as I blamed myself for Felicity's suicide attempts.

"Harry don't blame yourself." Dad said.

A scream came from the back lawn. We got up and looked out the window to see Felicity soak Kenton in the jaw.

"Felicity," I exclaimed.

I gave Sofia to Grandad and then ran out of the room and down the stairs and out to the back lawn. I checked on Kenton then ran after Felicity.

I found her in the garden crying,

"Hey are you alright?" I asked as She hugged me.

"I need help." She said.

"I know, you're going to get help. I promise." I Said.

"I love you Harry and I hate that I hurt you. I'm so sorry." She Said then rested her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry I let you suffer." I Said as I rubbed her back.

"I should have spoken up earlier." Felicity took my hands,

"We both have a lot to be sorry about. But that's behind us. We nod need to focus on the future. I need to focus On Getting better and you need to focus on keeping up out engagements and keeping our children distracted while I'm gone." She Said.

We discussed her leaving before going back. Kenton was up, and in the chair and being evaluated my a doctor.

"Sorry for punching you, Kenton." Felicity said.

I took her inside and to our room. She was allowed to be excused for the rest of the day.

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A/n: Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
-Princess