Revenge of a Time Lord

Chapter 26

'I can't get her back! I can't!' the Doctor shouted, standing up again and glaring at Rose. 'I have told you not to mention her again!'

'Calm down!' Rose said, standing up as well. 'You said you could do anything, so you can do that as well!'

'I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, ROSE TYLER!' the Doctor bellowed, making Rose jump back.

'You are not thinking straight! I am sorry, I will not mention her again, but just think about it!' Rose said again, trying to make him calm down.

'Don't you think I have thought about that before? I am the one who took her memories! I can't give them back! She will die. Don't you understand?' the Doctor snapped.

'You have me back as well,' Rose said quietly.

'THAT IS DIFFERENT! YOU CAME BACK TO ME! SHE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER ME!' the Doctor shouted, his eyes blind with rage.

'What if we could find a way to bring her back? Together?' Rose proposed, but the Doctor didn't seem to listen. He kicked the nearest couched and threw some books away that had the misfortune to be in his reach on the wrong time.

'Don't talk about it! Don't you see what it does to me? You are making it worse, Rose. You have no idea. I want to see the universe burn. I want to see blood,' the Doctor growled, almost with an animalistic expression on his face.

It was hard for Rose to think of him as the Doctor right now.

'You need her, Doctor. If you really can do anything, then you need to get her back.'

'Don't you see it? She will die. And I just can't bear that! You will all die at some point, all human beings will leave me. You too, Rose. And I don't want that. And I can't do that to her myself. I can't murder her,' the Doctor said quietly, gripping the consoles too tightly so that his knuckles were white.

'But you can try...' Rose whispered.

Something in the Doctor's eyes changed. 'You are right. I can try. Even if I can't find a solution for her that could save her, at least then I have seen her before she dies of old age. At least then we have shared her last moment together. And then I will have to live with the guilt. Because I couldn't save her. Is that worth it?' the Doctor asked, trying to control his voice.

Rose nodded hesitantly. If Donna was really the person who could help the Doctor, then it was worth it. The universe was more important than the life of just one woman. Not that she was going to tell the Doctor that, she obviously meant much to him and Rose was not going to say anything bad about her.

'I only have ideas to save her. I might kill her. I don't know if I can do that, if I can handle that,' the Doctor said.

'I think you should try it. I think you need her,' Rose said quietly.

'You are right. I should try it. I will not fail. I will win. If I want her to live, then she will live. My enemies can wait, I have got time,' the Doctor smiled, his eyes twinkling in anticipation.

'I'll come with you,' Rose said.

'No. You stay here. I need to do this alone, you'll be safe here,' the Doctor said, not leaving any space for arguing.

'And how do I know that you won't walk away with this woman? I need to keep an eye on you, Time Lord,' Rose said.

Clearly the Doctor didn't find it funny at all. 'You should know better. I would never leave you for someone else. Donna and I never were like that. It is hard to explain, I just... love her... as a friend.'