twist of time (18+)

Thirty-Six

Looking out to the street behind the window, I felt uneasy yet as Alec's hand traveled over and under my kimono, but involuntarily I turned my head as he brushed my nipples. It hit the right spot, and make my core heated and clenched. My breathing hitched as his hands slipped the silk kimono to both sides, and it fell off the shoulder easily to my elbows. For a few seconds, he watched my tattoed hills with awe. "You should never close it with anything Darl, it is the most beautiful thing I ever see"

Blushing, my hand jumped to my bosom, and close it with my palms but he pried it open, restraining my hands and licked my breasts. It felt so good that I bite my lips and my panties instantly moistened with juice.  "You should never close it with anything" I heard a click as he cuffed both of my hand to the table feet as he kept playing his tongue over and around it.

"Uh why I..." But I couldn't utter another words as as he sucked my breasts in such a force that I closed my eyes in delight, pulled my cuffs, overwhelmed with the titillating sensation that spreading into my whole body.

Did I really need it this bad?

Ah...

Did I want this to happen?

Oh...my...God

I need this, but... oh...

I...

It felt

So

Good

Suddenly the sensation stopped as he pulled his mouth. As I looked down in dismay I saw he peel away my leggings slowly and roamed his finger around my thigh. He sniggered as I swallowed, helplessly watched him strip me but somehow my breath ragged with anticipation and I blushed deeper as I feel more moisture soaked under me. He lifted my feet up on the beanbag and smiled before he licked my slit and I whimpered. He pried open the labia and dug with his mouth, playing my petals with his tongue, and I held my breath as his tongue twirled inside and sucked my clit. But he ate me so good the pleasure ripped me apart that I rocked my head and a moan escaped that I felt so embarrassed. 

Is this right?

Why do I need this?

Ah!

This doesn't feel right!

Ah, I couldn't think!

Ah!

But God,

I need it

so... fucking bad!

I need him to fuck me!

I don't want it!

But I need it

Oh

Oh

Somehow I felt further and further away from my body as my other selves took over and saw myself completely drowned under the wave of lust and give in to the primitive instinct. The guilt and shame that was racing to my head muted all of the sudden, and so is everything else. Sound, touch and everything else missing from my perception and everything is just a movie I safely watch. I was back to my hideout, deep inside myself.

Yet, I didn't lose my memory totally nor I feel in a dream. Right now I knew exactly what was going on, and I knew exactly I ran away inside me. Yet it didn't last long before I totally lost it, and everything was dark.

====

Stirring, I wake up from the slumber I didn't remember the start. Glancing at the clock, I realized that morning almost came.  I sighed and seated, and shuddered a bit as I found myself nude on the bed between two naked male that was softly snoring beside me. I didn't want to question how Blake suddenly there, or how could I let them use my body all over again. My wrist felt sore and tender, and as I lifted it up I saw a red mark on it, clearly from the cuff at the afternoon who heaven knows how long I've used it.

 Trying to move but failed, I swore as I opened the blanket and saw both feet tied to the bed. My hand reached down to undo it, each movement lethargic and heavy as I felt incredibly sore. 

Rolling and walking to the shower, I gasped as I felt something oozes from the hole between my thigh. Using my kimono, I plugged it as I ran to the shower and released it there. Yet, bile raced to my mouth and I spend another minute throwing up, disgust at my own discharge.

After I able to stop myself from another puke and flushed it, I turned on the water. Yet, even when it rained all over my body, it ran over my skin as if it unable to wet it, unable to wash it. Squeezing the soap, I lathered it and rubbed with my sponge until it completely foamy all over myself. Then the shampoo and lathered it on my head. Unable to stop or contain myself, I scrubbed and rubbed my whole body with such a force until my skin reddened slightly. Something stung and I stopped. As I looked under my palm, blisters formed on my arm.   Yet somehow, I didn't feel near clean.

I am so dirty.

Even water unable to wash it.

I am...

So

Dirty

Dirty...

My knee weakened I slid down the wall and sat while tears rained down as helplessness reign my mind.

Nothing I could do to wash the fact that I am dirty. Nothing

After a while, I was able to grip on myself, took the towel rub it all over to dry. 

Glancing at both men that soundly slept on my bed, loath crept on my spine and I pulled my favorite sweater over my head and loose pants up to my waist.

On my way out I stole Alec's cigweed and open the door outside to the open concrete platform and close the door behind me and sat on the small plastic stool.  My hand trembled as I lit it cos I honestly never tasted one before, yet I knew I need it like hell

What did I just do?

I took a drag of the cigweed, and instantly felt better, yet I choked on the way.

What the hell did I just do?!

The crisp morning air sent a breeze that sent a twinkle to my skin, and somehow as I inhaled the smoke and puffed it, the horizon seems more pinkish and sparkle beyond my eyes. At first, I thought about jumping from the platform crevice, but now even the thought felt so funny. I smiled, then chuckled, then laughed like crazy, wiping the mirthful tears that come out.

Somehow my heart was alight and happy in an instant, and remotely I aware that the cigweed wasn't what I thought it is. It was a dipcig. Still laughing, I put it out and stored it in my pocket.

Not good to waste it all now.

I jumped in my seat as I heard the church bell clanged at the church near my building started their service. Unable to mute it, I heard the sermon about lust, and then as they raised and sang, guilt raced through my mind, and the drug unable to numb it down.

Sin, this is sin what I did.

I'm just a slut...

A slut...

I sinned...

I'm so wrong

So... damn.. wrong

So... dirty

 As my mouth still chuckled uncontrollably, tears trickled down to my cheek, as the drug effect and the guilt messed up my brain and heart. That instance, I realized that the drug just gave me a temporary numb. It never really fix your problem.