twist of time (18+)

twenty-four

The lamp darkened and I heard a soft snore beside me. I reached for my phone, want somehow comforting words from my friends, but I saw the two of them left our chat group. I bit my lower lips. Damage has been done.

Alec went out as he got a pack of person to rents the pool house from BnB or another sort of renting website, and there we were, me and Blake, alone and locked in. Was not fun wearing those cuff to the toilet or shower with a man ogling you all the time. I end up didn't shower at all.

Even when I knew that maybe he already see everything out of me (well, touch for sure, cos it was dark and underwater, but I really didn't know what happen to me at the time I went out from my memory), in the end I still reluctant to let him see me without clothes.

Yeah, maybe it just a stupid prude arrogant me, but somehow, I just not so open at the moment. Unlike those fleeting hot moment.

My cheek heated as the blush creep in. I chewed my finger and wondered silently.  Maybe last time I  ovulated? How in the hell I did that so easily? Stupid me

I couldn't answer myself. Yet the abandon of vulnerability and the need of someone to comfort me last time prolly just made me do it.

As I started to regret it, guilt crept my skin as the night slowly wear in and I laid down, tried to get some sleep, itchy and all beside a not so strange but not so familiar handsome man who knows me more than I do.

The clock ticked slowly and steadily, echo in the silent room.

I took my phone again and opened Facebook. Almost a thousand notification. I opened it and gasped. My bare breast, stomach and half of my chin displayed for everyone to see on my wall. My hand trembled as I read the caption.

'I always treated you nicely, but you stabbed my back and threw me like a trash. Now everyone will see that you just a worthless slut'

As I saw the profile picture, the person who put it there was Britney's ex. Scrolled down, I clamped my mouth with my hand. It was shared by almost a hundred people, all men commented with every dirty, suggestive and lewd sentence available. I glimpsed at my Instagram and found the same picture tagged my account. I closed my eyes and let the phone slide to the floor.

Closing my eyes, I tried hard to forget it. This is not happening to me. This is not happening to me. This is not happening.

But my mind chose to rewind all the event that happened to me instead.

You are just manipulating them  Lana word's whispered near my ear.

You deserved it  Britney's pained face flashed by.

I feel worthless

How low could you be?  Britney commented under the picture

How low can I be? How low?  I raked my bangs and felt wetness seeping into the pillow even when I shut my eyes so hard to catch the tears.

You just don't know how low, how deep down the abyss I drowned.