When a Gangsta Loves You (Currently Editing and Perfecting)

Chapter 5: Shawnee

"Get your shit together, bitch," I said to myself as I stared into the bathroom mirror.

I couldn't believe that I'd let Rome get me like this. The man had been back in my life for all of five minutes and already he had me breaking down. What the fuck was that back there?

Ripping more tissues from the toilet paper roll, I dabbed what I hoped were the last of the tears from my eyes then fixed my makeup for the thousandth time. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

After blowing my nose, I flushed the tissue down the toilet. I'd probably been in the bathroom for a good 15 or 20 minutes by now and I still wasn't ready to go back out there yet. It made no sense. The fortress that had taken me years to build up against Rome had basically collapsed in a matter of seconds. I'd literally been preparing for this very moment since Rome was first sentenced and this was the result of all of my hard work?

How could anyone blame me though? Look at him. It didn't make sense for him to look that damn fine. Rome looked like he'd just came out of the barbershop with his sharp fade and shiny waves. His usually clean cut face had a sexy full beard that had transformed his baby face into that of a grown man's. And his body....Lord Jesus help me! Rome always had a little build on him, but now? He was a beast and his suit did a terrible job of hiding it. That was another thing. Rome knew what him being in a suit did to me and I knew his ass had purposely worn one just to fuck with me. Who gets out of jail and immediately slides into a $3500 Tom Ford suit?

I hadn't meant to, but I'd melted the second Rome had wrapped his arms around me. I hated to even admit it, but it had felt better than I could have ever imagined. Crying of course hadn't been apart of my game plan either, but I couldn't help it. The second I saw him, I realized how much I truly missed him. The thing about me and Rome was we have always been friends first and lovers second. Plain and simple, once I laid eyes on him I'd realized how much I'd been missing my friend. With me and Rome though, we could never be just that. He would never let it happen. That was clear already, and from from the looks of things I wasn't doing any better.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I jumped when I heard Rome knock and then speak through the door.

"You aight in there, Sha?"

"I'm fine!" I managed to say it even though I was still getting it together.

"You coming out any time soon, ma? It's about time to make it over to my mom's."

Damn. I'd forgotten about dinner just that quickly. Why the hell had I signed myself up for this?

"Yay! Nana's! Are you coming out mommy?"

Lord knows I didn't want to but I had no choice.

"I'll be out in a minute! Why don't you get your shoes and socks and show daddy how you tie your shoes."

"Okay!" I heard JJ's pitter patter footsteps run down the hall.

"Sha. You sure you good, ma?"

The concern in his voice melted me even more and my eyes rolled shut at the sound of his deep, sexy voice. Why the hell did this man have this type of effect on me?

"I'm fine, Rome. I'll be out in a minute."

Turning on the water, I washed my hands as I held my breath and waited for him to move away from the door.

"Daddy! Watch me!"

JJ must have returned back with his shoes. I was glad because I really needed a few more minutes to myself. JJ still hadn't fully grasped the ability to tie his shoes so I knew that would buy me a few more minutes alone.

"Yeah. Let me see what you got, boy." His voice trailed down the hall and as I heard his dress shoes walk away from the door, I released my breath.