When a Gangsta Loves You (Currently Editing and Perfecting)

Chapter 10 Niecy

Sighing, I closed my MacBook and rolled over onto my back in my old bed. I was supposed to be making my final selection on which nursing program I was going to enroll in, but my head just wasn't in it right now. All I could think about was Duke and what happened right before I left.

Honestly, I'd been thinking about telling my parents that I wanted to stay in North Carolina to attend nursing school, but my mind had changed before I could even form my lips to bring up the subject. Me and my parents are close, especially me and my dad. I'm a daddy's girl. Both me and my little sister, Patrice, are. He has always spoiled us, made sure we had the best of the best and was hellbent on me coming back home to complete a program where he and mom were.

Twirling the 3 carat diamond, promise ring I had no business wearing around on my finger, I slipped it off and studied it. The promise to keep my legs closed until marriage had been broken almost six months ago, but I hadn't felt guilty about it up until now. I'd thought I'd made the right choice by giving Malcolm my virginity, but I'd never been more wrong.

Malcolm was the man on Duke's campus, had all the females on him, and it seemed like everybody wanted to be in his circle. Like me, he was an honors student and a biology major. I swear my heart skipped a beat when he sat down next to me in Chemistry. His short, soft brown curls, grey eyes that were too pretty for a man to have, and muscular physique had been enough to make me break out into a sweat. The minute he flashed his perfect set of pearly whites my way; I was a goner.

Needless to say, I didn't learn a damn thing. We'd instantly formed a bond and would goof off for most of class. I couldn't help the small crush I began to develop on him. A few weeks later when he asked what I was doing after class, my fate had been sealed. Shit was sad, but Malcom had me topless within an hour of us leaving campus together. We'd gone to his off campus apartment to watch a movie that we'd mostly talked through and once he'd leaned over to kiss me, I'd gladly accepted his tongue. Malcolm had had my pussy wetter than it had ever been and his mouth had felt amazing on my body but I'd ended up stopping him when he'd gone for the zipper to my jeans. So sure he would send me away, I'd cringed as I told him I was a virgin and wasn't ready to go all the way.

My father is pretty strict with me and my sister. I wasn't even allowed to speak to a boy on the phone until I was 14 and even then, it was monitored. No dating was permitted until my 17th birthday, but of course, I had snuck and had a few boyfriends before then. All of those relationships never lasted long though, because lets face it, niggas wanted pussy and I wasn't giving my shit out. My parents consistently preached about saving my treasure for my husband and I always planned on saving my virginity for the right man.

Malcolm had made me feel special and cared for. That day, after I told him we couldn't go any further, he'd kissed my lips and told me he respected that and promised he wasn't going anywhere. He still ended up making me his girlfriend and after four months together, he told me that he loved me during one of our many heated makeout sessions. We'd suck each other's lips off and basically fuck with our clothes on.

I'd been so happy to hear those three words come out of Malcolm's mouth that I let it cloud my judgement. It didn't take much begging on his part for me to give in and give him my V card after that. At least I had been smart enough to make sure he put a condom on before he put me through the most painful sixty seconds of my life. Really! It couldn't have been much longer than that. I had looked at him like he was crazy when he'd finally got off me and wiped the drool from the side of his mouth, asking if we could go again. Lord knows I wanted nothing of the sort. This was what all the hype was all about; I couldn't believe it! Because Malcolm controlled me like a damn puppet, I did. The sex hadn't gotten too much better after that. At least it stopped being as painful but I still never saw fireworks or felt the leg trembling pleasure that my best friend, Ragen, and my other girls have spoken of.