When a Gangsta Loves You (Currently Editing and Perfecting)

Chapter 30 Niecy

"So, how does this one look?" Ragen asked as she twirled around in the all black mini dress she was trying on.

We were at the mall doing one of my least favorite activities...shopping, and I'd been ready to go two hours ago, but because of Ky taking up so much of my time lately, I owed it to Ray.

"It looks good, Ray! Just like the forty million others you've tried on. You ain't ready to go yet? My feet are killing!"

Slipping off the wedges I wished I hadn't worn, I massaged my feet. Thank God they had chairs in this boutique otherwise I would be dragging Ray out of this mall by her damn weave.

"Nobody told you to try and be all cute and wear heels. You see I got me on some Nike's like I got sense. Your lil boo ain't here so there wasn't no need for all that."

"Girl, whatever!" I said to her back as she returned to the dressing room.

"So, speaking of, how are things with you and this mystery man I've yet to meet?"

Ray had been giving me a hard time about meeting Ky but I wasn't ready for that introduction yet. She was bestie and all but she could be a bit wild, and besides, it wasn't like Ky was my man or anything. We still hadn't made things official.

"Things are good. I really like him. We're supposed to be going out to dinner tonight." A smile crept on my face as I thought on it. Other than Ky being slow on committing, I was really feeling him. We talked daily and saw each other almost as much.

We were both from two very different worlds but had this crazy connection that was hard to explain or ignore. We fit together perfectly and had way more in common than I initially thought we would.

It was nice to finally find someone who liked to watch mystery medical shows and science documentaries with my dorky ass and can you believe Ky was a reader. I had been more than surprised when I'd walked into his place for the first time and saw a stacked bookshelf with a number of titles I've read or had on my to-read list. Not to mention we could talk for hours or just be comfortable chilling in silence. Maybe it was because we didn't have a title but Ky was like my best friend and my ideal guy all wrapped in one with a few curve balls thrown in the mix.

"But?" Ray asked as she came out of the stall with a heap of clothes.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've known you for almost your entire life and can tell that there's a but somewhere in this." Ray 's bill for just this store alone totaled at $620 and I shook my head as she handed over her father's black card.

You wouldn't catch my daddy letting me or Patrice do anything like this. Though I wasn't much of a shopper, Patrice was. She wouldn't ever be allowed to cause the type of damage Ray had inflicted on her father's accounts today ever.

"I don't know, Ray. I guess I'm just wondering when or if he's going to make things official. It's been over two months now."

"Yeah, and you still haven't given up no pussy." Sucking my teeth, I rolled my eyes and lightly pushed her as we headed out the store and back into the mall traffic.

"Shit! I'm just saying! What I'm really trying to figure out is what the hell you put in that spaghetti you made him for him to still be around taking you to all these expensive restaurants and shit and you still ain't gave up no ass!"

"Oh my God Ray! Bye! I would never do no nasty shit that!"

"I'm only kidding!" Ray giggled. "But I'm just saying, no pussy is a deal breaker for most niggas. What you waiting on anyway? It's not like you're a virgin anymore?"

Unlike Ray, I was still planning on being choosy with who I let between my legs.

"That is not true! Malcolm committed to me before we had sex and I already told you I'm not ready to take it there again just yet."

After losing my baby and dealing with Malcolm's cheating, I really wasn't. Just because my pregnancy hadn't been planned didn't mean that the loss hadn't hurt any less. Kids have always been something that I've wanted, just further off in my life. I'd ended up having to get a D&C to completely heal physically, but mentally, I was still wounded.

"Girl, you better get ready before Ky moves on! As fine as he is, I'm sure he gets pussy thrown at him all day long. You'd better throw yours before he ends up in someone else's."

A sick feeling crept in my stomach as the image of Ky with someone else. Ray didn't have to tell me he had pussy being offered to him at every turn. Women stayed hitting him up. I've never done any peeping or anything like that. Ky wasn't my man and it wasn't my place, but I'd seen more than a few female names pop up on his phone and I couldn't help but wonder if I was the only woman he entertained. Then again, they could be his friends or even family for all I knew and we spent so much time together, it almost felt silly thinking that way.

"Damn, Niecy! I was just kidding! Look at your face! Chill! It's obvious that with all the time y'all spend together in person and on the phone that Ky is really into you!" Ray and I made it by the food court and I sighed in relief when she lead the way to the Dairy Queen line.

Whenever she was able to drag me out to the mall, this was our last stop before we headed out. Thank God!

"But you shouldn't let the bull shit Malcolm did hold you back with Ky," she continued.

"I know," I blew out a breath. "I just don't want to put myself out there like that to get hurt again I guess."

"Put yourself out there? Bitch! You already in the deep end! If Ky were to stop fucking with you today, you would be basically just as hurt as you would be if the two of had had sex. Sex won't change that."

Wow. I couldn't believe Ray actually had a point. It wasn't like I didn't want to have sex with Ky either. Our chemistry was definitely sexual too.

Me and Ray both ordered strawberry banana smoothies then took a seat at a nearby table.

"What you over there thinking now?" Ray asked, breaking the silence.

"How your anti relationship ass might have a point."

"Oh shit! Are you actually considering letting your V out of exile?" I busted out laughing! My V out of exile? Ray was too damn much.

"Maybe...I don't know."

"We'll figures that shit out. We're not kids anymore, mama, and you are fucking with a grown man."

In a way, Ray was right. Ky was a man, not one of the little boys who used to run behind us. That was part of why I was so nervous about taking it there with Ky. He was experienced and Malcolm was all I had under my belt, and believe me, that wasn't much.

After we finished our smoothies we headed for the parking lot. Before we made it out of the mall, I surprised Ray and myself when I ducked into a Victoria Secret store and picked out a cute lingerie set. Of course, Ray had to take over and I ended up with one that barley had any material to it.

I was already nervous as hell but I planned on wearing that along with the cute dress I'd purchased earlier, that I'd also let Ray pick. Ray was right. It wasn't fair to Ky that I was holding back both physically and emotionally because of what another man did, but I still wasn't going to rush things either. I decided tonight I would just see where things went.