You know, I know

Chapter 36

It's been 7 whole days sitting in this hospital room spending as much time as I can with my mom. Every night I've sent Bella and Ethan over to Clare and Craig, Niall's parents and then they would come back around 10am along with Niall's parents.

"Good morning Liv dear, how are you?" Clare asked me as she walked up to me and influenced me in a hug.
"I'm okay I guess. Hardly get any sleep, max about 10 minutes. I just don't know when it'll be her last you know, I don't know what i'll do without her" I say as I hug her back.
"I know dear, this must be hard for all of you, especially you, after witnessing your father's death and now your mothers, it must be awful"
"yeah it really is. But I've got to stay strong for Bella and Ethan. They will have no one here. I think I might have to take them back to New York with me, but I don't want to pull them away from their childhood home and school" I said

Niall

Liv has only had 1o minutes of sleep and i'm starting to worry about her. Yes I get that she want's to spend every moment with her mother because she don't know when the last will be.

Her cheeks are tear stained, her hair is thrown up in a messy bun and she's not wearing any makeup.

"Hey Niall" Bella said as she walked into the hospital room
"hey Bells, come here" I said as I could see the tears falling down her face
"Niall , i'm going to miss her so much. Yeah she's asleep at the moment but I can't help but think she might be dead"
"Bells you'll know if she was because you see that machine over there? the lines would go flat okay" I said and she let out a little smile, but not a full one, only a quarter half hearted one. Oh do I wish that I could changed this for all of them so they wouldn't be going through this right now. They are not ready to loose their mom, especially after losing their father too, and then here I am with both my parents and my brother over in Germany.

"Bella! Ethan!" Olivia cried and pulled them both into a hug, god do I wish I knew what my girl was feeling right now.

"Hello my beautiful children" El said in her weak voice
"Mom" they all said and they all hugged her.
"I'm so sorry darling angles. I'll always be with you remember that. I love you all, every single one of you"
"we know that mom, and you don't need to be sorry." Bella and Ethan said together but Olivia stayed scilent
"Liv, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned for her daughter
"I'm sorry I just need some air" and with that she walked out and started running down the hall.

OLIVIA

I couldn't stay I there much longer. My mom's there dying as the seconds go by and I can't stand it. She's weak, weaker than ever and it hurts so much. The way that the colour draines from her skin every day, and the way that her eyes are loosing their sparkle as the hour goes by and the way that she doesn't have the smile that she used to is killing me on the inside and out.

I sat on the wall of the hospital, watching family's walk passed looking happy, the feeling that I used to feel. I'm braking more and more just by watching all these family's walk by, we could've been like them. Mom could of had her 40th birthday, she could have grown old, she could of had her grandchildren running around and wanting to play with her. But no, that's not going to happen, that's all a fantasy, and this is reality.

"OLIVIA!!" A voice screamed from the carpark, I turned around to find Niall, standing there crying.
"OLIVIA SHE'S DYING!" he screamed again. This is it she's going.

I jumped of the wall and started to run, run faster than I ever have done before, with Niall hot on my trails. I finally reached the room, I pushed the door open and there she was, dying right in front of me.

"mom, it's me. I love you so much. Please, please don't go! I need you!" I said as I reached the bed and placed her hands in mine.
"I'm sorry baby. I really am. I love you, I love you all.." she got cut off with the sound of the machine going flat. That's it she's gone. Forever.

"I love you too mom" I said though my tears.

I fell onto the floor and broke down, in front of Bella, Ethan, Clare, Craig and Niall. I feel broke, I feel like I'm dying on the inside. I feel empty. Without my mom. i'm empty!