In your Arms

Chapter Forty Four

"I must admit, what you did back there was totally amazing. I never thought you had it in you. Guess I should've known better, you worked as a member of a dance crew after all. I just never thought I would see you actually dance in front of me." Amity chuckled as she told Alexander her thoughts. They were now having their late lunch at Racks's. It was a couple of blocks from Simon's place.

"Thanks for the feedback, I needed it. I must say, you were astonished by my dancing." Alexander gave her a cocky grin.

"There he goes.." Amity rolled her eyes.

"I'm very much flattered, thank you." Alexander nodded feeling proud of himself.

"Anyway, what was the title of that song you used in your dance? I'm not familiar with it but it also sounded good." She asked.

"Oh, it's Taeyang's English version of Wedding Dress. He's a Korean artist and a member of a Korean group. Yeah, that song is one of my favorites. I actually copied his every move in the music video. Pretty neat huh?" He told her smiling.

"Yeah it was nice." Amity nodded as she stuffed her mouth with food.

"By the way, what kind of music do you listen to?" Alexander asked her.

Amity swallowed the food in her mouth before answering, "Well, I like rock songs. Progressive rock, Death Metal, Indie, Goth, Screamo and stuff. Basically most of it's genres. When I was young I wanted to be in a band. A drummer or a guitarist maybe."

"Wow that's cool. That would've been kick ass." Alexander told her looking amazed. "So how did it go?"

Amity shrugged, "It never happened. My father won't let me. He's pretty much against it. He told me I have no future in that kind of business. He's against of my painting too." She shook her head.

"That's frustrating." Alexander looked at her sympathetically. "Your dad is no different from my brother after all."

"I guess." Amity suddenly looked sullen, Alexander was right. Somehow they were both on the same page. "How about you? Did Simon ever saw you dance?"

"He did, a couple of times. But same as your dad, he was totally against it. He really wanted me to continue my studies, the only problem is, he wanted me to take up a course I don't like. I understand he only wants me to be stable and all, but it felt like he had wanted me to be just like him. And I can't be like him because I am not like him. We're totally opposites." Alexander answered. "But you know, even if we have a lot of differences, Simon and I were once very close. And I kinda miss it too you know? That closeness we had before when we were young and doesn't mind anything at all.." Sadness filled his eyes and Amity took notice of it, she looked at him thoughtfully.

"What happened then?" She asked curiously. "I'm sorry if I sound like I'm prying or whatever. If you don't feel like telling me it's okay."

Alexander smiled at her, "It's okay. I'll tell you." Amity waited for him to continue and make herself look attentive.

"Simon and I have different fathers. His old man died when he was four years old. He was still young but he could already understand things, you could imagine how was it like for him then. The emotional trauma that cost him through the loss of his father, even I wouldn't want to imagine him seeing devastated at an early state. Simon's a smart person, he knows what happened to his father couldn't be undone. The loss of him really affected him. He told me that when I was young." Alexander took a deep breath before continuing. "And then our mom married my dad. They had me as soon as they were married. The first few years went out fine, not until he became an alcoholic and started beating Simon and our mother. What's worse is that he also tried to beat me, his own son. I was already four and Simon was ten. It continued until we were in our teens. My father didn't work, it was my mom who made a living for our sake. And when Simon was able he took part time jobs while he goes schooling. Then one time, he couldn't take it anymore. Simon is a very patient person. I've never seen him raise his voice, or hurt someone. Or even answer back to our parents. But that one time when he saw my father hit our mother very badly, he snapped. Simon was already tall and lean and strong, my father was a bit old. He was no match for him then and Simon hit him. My father was very angry. The following morning he left and didn't came back."

Amity felt the weight in Alexander's words as he spoke. She looked at him with pitiful eyes. She also felt pity for Simon, she never knew this other chapter of his life and it affected her. Alexander continued on.

"Our mother became so depressed with my father leaving us, she didn't handle it very well. Simon had to work hard on double shifts while studying. He had to feed us and pay for our bills and our tuition fees. He shouldered it all, just by himself. I've always admired him because of that. But he was devastated once more when our mother had died. It was her depression that killed her." Alexander looked like he was about to choke and his eyes went a bit glassy. "I know Simon hated my father, but I've hated him much more than he did. I even ask God why did he ever gave me that kind of father when I could've had a different one."

"Alexander.." Amity whispered and reached for his hand.

"So we were left alone, Simon and I. He tended all my needs. When he started in his work all he ever wanted was for me to finish my studies and have a decent work for a living. He gave me everything I needed. But I failed him. I didn't submit myself to everything he ever wanted me to be. And I know he's very much disappointed in me. I just couldn't.. I lost my dad.. We lost our mom.. I don't know what to say anymore.." He shook his head.

"Xander.. Simon loves you.. Nothing changed.. He just wants you to have a good life just like him.. You might feel or think that he doesn't care but he does.." Amity told him.

"I know but.. I could never become whatever he wants.. I don't know.." Alexander looked away.

"What about your father? Where is he?"

"Somewhere I don't know and hope that's too far away." He answered clenching his jaw.

Amity breathed deeply. "I'm so sorry you have to remember these things because you had to tell me.."

"It's okay. I haven't told this to anyone except you and Uno." Alexander told her. "It actually helped a bit, at least I aired some of the weight I've been carrying inside me for years."

"Simon did told me though, that it really affected you when you lost your mother. He's thinking that's the reason why you left the country leaving him behind."

Alexander laughed a little, "That's not just it, Jordin. There's another reason."

Amity furrowed her eyebrows, "What is?"

"You'll know soon enough." He gave her a half smile, "My life is a bit complicated than you can ever imagine."

"Try me." Amity shrugged.

"In time I'll tell you. For now let's talk about lighter things." He told her.

"Okay then. I'll wait for that." She smiled, "Anyway, I hope that audition of yours would work out for you."

"I sure hope so. A friend told me about it a week ago, an entertainment company in Korea sent a talent agent here to look for new members for one of their dance crews. If I'm lucky to get chosen I'll get to fly there and start another career." Alexander told her with hopeful eyes.

"Wow that's nice. I'll pray that you will." Amity grinned.

"If, by any chance, would you like to..." Alexander broke off and suddenly went uneasy.

"What?" Amity asked him with expectant eyes.

"Nothing, nothing.." Alexander shook his head.

"Oh c'mon, don't be such a cliff hanger." Amity pretended to sound annoyed, it made Alexander laugh.

"Okay," He answered, "If by any chance I would get chosen, would you like to.. come with me? In Korea?" He gave her a look that meant like he was expecting she would answer yes. Amity suddenly felt awkward, but she couldn't understand why her heart started beating so fast. She was speechless for a moment and didn't know what to say. Alexander's face fell. "You don't want to?"

"No, no.. It's not like that.." Amity told him, "It's just that, I also have a scholarship offer remember? From Elise Veracruz. I'm still thinking about it. But hey, I promise I'll visit you in Korea when you're there." She gave him a sincere smile and held his hand.

"I think I would like that." Alexander smiled at her, "Well then, good luck for the both of us." He raised a glass for a toast, Amity did as well.

"To us." Amity told him still smiling.