In your Arms

Chapter Sixty One

Since Jordin left the place all Alexander ever did was to either sulk in his room or drown himself in alcohol. He couldn't even sleep. Most of his nights were sleepless. He still couldn't believe that Jordin is not really Jordin but a girl named Amity who happens to be an heiress. But whoever she is, for him she will always be Jordin; a tough girl with a sensible heart that he came to love.

He's not mad at her because she lied about her real identity unlike his brother Simon. What pains him the most is that after all they've been through, Jordin didn't give a single shit about him. And it hurts him so much. It hurts him because during the span of time they've been together he has learned to love and care for her. What he felt for her is stronger than what he had ever felt for Mia. He thought she would eventually forget Simon and turn her attention to him instead. But in the end it was still Simon. All she's ever cared about was him.

"Nothing will ever be the same again.." Alexander whispered as tears brimmed in his eyes and they began to fall. It was hard for him not being able to talk to someone else while carrying this heavy burden in his chest. He hasn't talked to Simon yet because most of the time it's either he's at work or at Mia's place. His bestfriend Uno on the other hand is always calling him and telling him to come over his place so they could have a drink but he doesn't have the energy to leave the condo unit therefore he didn't respond to his calls. He knows he should go out so memories of her won't enter his mind but he couldn't do it. Besides, those memories were wonderful even if its painful to think that all of it meant nothing. That's all he will ever have of her. Somehow he doesn't want to forget.

Minutes later he heard some knocking on the door. He stayed idle for awhile deciding if he would open it up or not. Simon's at work and it's impossible that it's him. He's not even expecting a visitor or someone so he decided not to mind whoever it is who's knocking.

But the knocking continued and it's a bit louder this time. Whoever it is outside seemed impatient now. Alexander cursed and forced himself up the couch and went for the door. With a scowl he opens it and found Uno standing outside.

They stare at each other for awhile before his bestfriend speaks. "Man, you look like shit. And you need some serious shaving." Uno tells him looking at him from head to foot.

"What are you doing here?" He asks him with creased eyebrows.

"Ta da!" Uno showed him two packs of beers in cans. "Now let me in." His bestfriend pushed him aside and went inside.

"Uno, I'm not in the mood." He tells him as he followed Uno in the living room. Uno didn't mind him and sits on the couch and opened up a can of beer. Alexander looks at him with hands on his hips, frowning. "What are you doing? You can't just barge in here and drink beer. I didn't even call you."

Uno sipped some beer and pointed a finger at him. "That's precisely the point." He nods his head. "You never returned any of my calls mate. I've been calling you." He shook his head pretending to look dismayed. "So I decided to come over."

"I want to be alone you know?" He tells his bestfriend, a bit annoyed.

"No. Enough of your emotional shit. We'll talk." Uno's face became serious and somehow it made him a bit scared. Uno can be scary sometimes. Most especially if he's going to scold him. "Now sit." Uno ordered him.

"Oh man--"

"Sit! Xander. Come on." Uno gestured for him to sit on the couch in front of him.

"Whatever man." Alexander shook his head and sits on the couch. "Now what?"

"Here." Uno tossed a beer can to him. Alexander catched it with one hand and opened it. He took a sip. "Okay. We're not girls so I'll cut the crap and ask you directly." Uno told him. Alexander felt a little uneasy but he didn't show it. He just waited for Uno's blow. "How have you been doing, Xander? I know what happened. Everything. And I know that you have feelings for her. So tell me, how are you coping now that she had left?"

Uno's words were like bullets that hit his chest one by one.

"What the hell?" Alexander pretended to look irritated hoping that Uno would stop interrogating him.

"C'mon, man. I know you." Uno sounded a bit calm, trying to look like he won't scold him or whatever. But Alexander knew him very well. This is his way of having him talk. "Just be honest with me, Xander." He looks at him with eyes full of understanding.

Alexander pressed his lips and looked away. "I miss him, man.. I miss her a lot.." He mumbled and bent his head down.

Silence filled the distance between them. He raised his head and saw Uno staring at him. "What? I already told you. I miss her. Every single day I always think about her. Not once had she ever slipped out of my mind. And staying here in this place is making it worse. I always see her." He covers his face with his hands. "I couldn't take it anymore, man.."

"You love her." He heard Uno speak. "I see you love her so much but why aren't you doing anything?"

Alexander looks at his bestfriend looking torn and helpless. "Tell me, what can someone like me do? I'm not the man that she wants. I'm nothing to her." He shakes his head. "And she left just like that. If she even cared she would've thought of at least telling me where to find her."

"Xander, we can find her. She's a daughter of a wealthy family, of course it's not that hard finding her. And besides," Uno shrugged, "there's google." He grins.

"You're crazy." Alexander tells his friend looking disbelieved but still grins. "I don't know dude.." He shakes his head. "What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"We never know what will happen." Uno smirks at him.

Somehow he thinks his bestfriend is right. But he's scared. He's scared of rejection. Jordin already did it to him, but even so, he finds it in himself that he still wants her. He doesn't want anyone other than her.

"I'll think about it, Uno."

Uno let out a deep sigh. "You better sort out that mind of yours, Xander. Before it's too late."