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Review by Painite: Finding Jules

Title: Finding Jules

Author: katherinetailor

Summary/Blurb: 4/5

I guess this is a common style in using blurbs on Wattpad - taking a snippet from the story itself. It's just my opinion, but maybe you can shorten it a little bit and add a bit of synopsis about Jules. A slight mix of the snippets or the summary of the plot. I really liked the part where you introduced Jules. I was thinking that maybe you should consider adding that part. 

This part -> [Julia Montgomery was brave. She wasn't afraid of anything, never submitting herself to any unreasonable anxieties.] 

Well, what do you think? It's your final call, though, since it is your story after all. 

Description: 4.7/5

Whoa... Oh my goodness, you have such awesome abilities to conjure scenes that can be truly felt by readers! I can feel Jules's emotions radiating from the screen, and I can relate to her curiosity. 

Maybe it's just me being a fan of gore, but when you got to the part where Jules entered the cabin in the woods and discovered the bodies, I think you should add some more details there. What about some striking appearances of the dead bodies? Or what Jules' bodily reaction is. Did bile rise up from the deepest pits of her stomach and made her wanna retch her previous meal? 

Well, some things like that make the bloody part more vibrant.

Grammar: 5/5

Wow, your grammar is spot-on! The way you use sensory images enlightened my brain, and there weren't any mishaps or anything major at all. Just one thing, and we'll be able to move on with the next one.

Somewhere on the fourth chapter...

"But you just got here?" -by Harvey.

English isn't my first language, so I'll have to ask to be sure. Isn't this supposed to be a period?

E.g: "But you just got here." 

What do you think?

Characterization: 5/5

Well, I don't really know how to rate some elements in character building in short stories, because this is actually the first short story I've read! Things like character development —as far as I know—take a while to develop, but I still loved how you portrayed your characters. You included their hobbies, strengths, height, and even skin colour. I liked Jules and her personality trait, and I'm amazed at how you made each of your characters so distinctly vibrant. So kudos!! No qualms here. 

Plot: 5/5 

Since this is a short story, I've recognized your plot right away. I love it because you've made it very vibrant and clear... And so real. Just kinda hung up on the cliffhanger though. Man, I wished you'd give it a more reasonable ending though.

Realism: 4.7/5

I only have some very few, very slight questions here, and it's regarding Jules's friends. Why didn't they even look for her, or came back for her? Also, it was kinda easy for Jules to make it back when she's been roaming around for what's supposed to seem like hours. I was kinda missing some links there. Did she really hide in the bushes for that long? Well, shrugs, this is just an opinion of mine though. 

Overall Score: 28.4/30

Thank you so much for choosing me, Painite to be your reviewer! It's such an honour to do so, and I hope you'll find this review helpful, even though it came from a newbie. 

Please remember that this critique is purely subjective, and may vary from different people's opinions. So keep an open mind and type on!!