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Review by Lone Wolf: Psychic Detective Team

Title: Psychic Detective Team

Author: frappucchinocafe

Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf

Summary: 4/5

I liked the format of the summary, with how you listed all of the people to expect, and ended it with a mysterious 'We will be waiting for you'. But there were a few grammatical errors, like specialist, when I think it's supposed to be specialize as well as the line where you describe a woman as medium. Unless she's medium sized, I'm guessing you actually meant 'a' medium, like a clairvoyant. In another sentence, you write that someone keeps a demon as his pets. Singular demon with plural pets (don't match up see?). Just put it through a Microsoft Word or an online grammar tool and it should pick up on any, if not most errors or, ask one of our lovely editors to help you! They will be more than happy to :)

Grammar: 2/5

Here's the thing: you're missing a lot of words in your sentences, like 'a' or 'the' as well as punctuation (commas, apostrophes, etc.). It makes it hard to read, especially when there's a lot of dialogue about supernatural phenomena. Also, numbers are usually typed out when in a story/book, they aren't kept in their numerical form. Within the first chapter, you forgot all of the periods dotting the ends of your sentences, and the paragraphs sound like they're loosely translated from a foreign language, given how chopped up some of the sentences are, with the missing words and verbs (I'm assuming Japanese, just a hunch, considering I've seen those names in mangas and the way they have the formal additions at the end).

Character Building: 2/5

There wasn't much of this. There was in the character introductions, but after that, within the first chapter, it was just a bunch of dialogues. Not one description about the characters talking to the main character, which I found odd. Were they worried? Did they have a mannerism that stood out to the detective? Without even checking the house, how could she have diagnosed their issue? It all seems very fast to me and there was not a lot of character building. It is obvious that she knows what she's doing, but there wasn't much for the reader to work off of.

Writing Style: 1.5/5

It looked like there had not been a lot of editing before you posted the chapters. Please, always take advantage of the fact that there are TONS of editors on this site, waiting to gobble stories up and give them back to you as pristine as possible. So many people are on here, looking forward to helping others and I can tell you for a fact that the editors on our team are awesome! I do like how you described the supernatural phenomena, but you have to describe other things, like Showa 45? What is that? I'm guessing it's one of the years from the Showa era, but if this is set in a different country, that most people haven't been exposed to, then leave footnotes about it at the end of each chapter.

Plot + Uniqueness: 4/5

The story doesn't start off too bad, with the presentation of the problem and the possible solutions. But the choppy grammar and lack of descriptions makes it hard to read. It is unique, considering that it just seems like it is about supernatural stuff, and without any romance. It's definitely unique in how (I think) it's set in Japan!

OVERALL SCORE: 13.5/25