Review by Painite: Mahogany

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Title: Mahogany 

Author: Flamingo_battlecries

Reviewer: awesomeSTG


SPECIAL NOTE FROM REVIEWER: 

Because this is the first time the shop encountered a poetry book to review, I had to make up some new categories in which I'll base your scores.

1. Summary/Blurb

2. Diction - how colorful your words are.

3. Rhyme Scheme - what style and rhythm your poems follow.

4. Message/Meaning Conveyed: whether or not the reader can understand the message your poem relays.

5. Emotions: how powerful its impact is, and if the reader can feel your emotions through words. 

That's the criteria I'm gonna be following in poetry, okay? 


Summary/Blurb: 5/5

Wow, just wow! It's not everyday you see blurbs like this, with amazing prose. And for people who are in love with literature and poetry, they'll really get hooked and waste no time at all to explore the wonders of your book. Great job on this one!!

But I hope you also realize that other readers are uhh... cough simpletons cough and are still teens, so they'd prefer a simpler choice of words. It's just an opinion though. 

Diction: 3/5

As I read through your poem, I noticed that you're fond of using uncommon words, which is good! You're great at weaving them... but I'm a little confused at about the style you're using. What about imagery, or what about using onomatopoeia?

What about sound devices? In my opinion, you're using blank verse, but I found that from time to time, they fall off their rhythm.


Rhyme Scheme: 3/5

One thing that makes a poem truly unique and seemingly musical is the constant beat that it has, like some sort of song.

Remember that rhyme is part of what we mean when we say poetry. There are two kinds of rhymes, namely internal rhyme and end rhyme. End rhyme is most commonly used, but in my opinion, when you're using blank verse, you'd have to use sound devices such as alliteration, assonance, and consonance.

Alliteration: the repetition of consonant sounds at the beginning of the words.

E.g: doubting, daring, dreams no mortal enter dared to dream before.

Assonance: the repetition of vowel sounds within words.

E.g: Along the window sill, the lipstick stabs glittered in their steel shells.

Consonance: the repetition of consonant sounds within and/or at the end of the words.

E.g: Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.

Well, I was just thinking that your poems needed hints and hues of those devices and imagery. What do you think about my suggestions?


Message/Meaning Conveyed: 5/5

I don't have any qualms here, kudos!! The poems you have created are easy to understand and I can clearly grasp the messages you want us to know. Each part of your story has a different message, and in my opinion, my heart has truly fallen for a certain poem 'I Don't'.


Emotions Evoked: 5/5 

Wow, I really loved how you were able to make me feel your emotions. Some I can relate to, but the poem 'I Don't' really made me feel the pressures of marriage. I sorta feel sorry for the guy though. Over all, you definitely aced this part, and I love you for it! 


OVERALL SCORE: 21/25

Thank you for choosing me, critic Painite to be your reviewer! I'm so sorry for the delay I caused, and I hope you found what you were looking for in the review!

I know writing poems can be tough, I tried writing one once... it didn't end up pretty well. But I love reading them, and hopefully wish that I'll be able to create a rhythmic force of literature just like you poets.

Once again, thank you for choosing me, and I wish you good luck in your journey!


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